Operation GET THIS KID OUT!

I know, I'm just over 36 weeks and I have no business whining about how I am sick of being pregnant (though I've been whining the last six months or so, why stop now?), even so, I am.  Doctor says It's safe to deliver any time now and I am so ready to get this show on the road.  I want to meet my son already!  Alex keeps yelling at my bellybutton that he wants toys.  And, it would be really nice to have the baby before John gets too involved in his new job so it would be easier for him to take time off.  So, I've been doing a little online research about natural ways to induce labor and here's what I've found:

• Walking (gravity and movement helps bring the baby down into position)



• Sex (semen contains prostaglandins which can stimulate contractions)



• Acupressure (should be done by a trained professional)



• Nipple stimulation



• Driving on bumpy roads



• Swinging (as in playground swinging, apparently the same idea as walking)



• Talk to the baby and make sure he feels welcome



• Eating tropical fruits such as kiwi, mango and pineapple (they contain an enzyme that may cause mild contractions)



• Drinking red raspberry leaf tea



• Eating spicy food



• Castor oil, evening primrose oil, or blue and black cohosh (At this point, I'm not desperate enough to try any of these methods as these can have some pretty nasty side effects and possible complications)

I think I'll start up my daily walk again.  I'd stopped walking regularly about a month or so ago because I was having a lot of Braxton-Hicks contractions.  Seems like a good opportunity to put on those walking shoes again now though.  I've already told John that I'll be requiring regular "prostaglandin injections" and I plan to work him hard the next few weeks.  He's all excited about it now, but I predict after two weeks he'll be locking himself in the bathroom begging me to give him just one night off.  Sorry Honey, your fertile seed got me into this situation and if it can help get me out, you're going to have to give it up!  This weekend when I go grocery shopping, I plan to stock up on tropical fruits and red raspberry leaf tea.  I might also get the ingredients to make some spicy enchiladas.

I'm not sure about nipple stimulation, there aren't many good descriptions of how it should be done, if different than what would normally be occurring during sex.  There are warnings though, that it could cause excessively long and strong contractions, so I think I'll hold off on the nipple twiddling until I'm really desperate.  Similarly, driving around on bumpy roads sounds more painful than helpful, and like I said above, I'm just not ready to resort to castor oil.  If I go overdue though (GOD FORBID!) you bet I'll be drinking it straight from the bottle!  Diarrhea be damned!

As for talking to the baby, well, it seems a little "touchy feely" to me, but I'm willing to give it a try.  I mean, he could very well be feeling scared of coming out.  A lot of my day is spent telling Alex "NO!", yelling across the room that he'd better not be doing whatever it is I think he's doing, and Alex screaming, crying, or squealing like a magoo, which I suppose could sound pretty intimidating to a fetus.  I'll try to allocate some time every day to soothing conversations with my belly.  I'll tell him about his room, about the weather, about how much we love him and can't wait to meet him.  Sure, he'll be out in no time!