At the mercy of the US Postal Service

Because I know the Internet is awaiting the arrival of Alex's passport as anxiously as I am (ha ha).

Alex's passport has been processed and sent out!  WOO HOO! 

The bad news?  Their estimated delivery date is 2/4.  Ahem.  SUNDAY.  No mail delivery on Sundays.  So we're really cutting it close hoping it arrives by Monday.  They've provided me with a confirmation number (at this point, it isn't giving any status, presumably because it was just sent).  I suspect the rest of my week will be spent obsessively checking the status on this package.

Passport drama

I was right in being worried about Alex's passport not showing up with mine.  Apparently due to a data entry error, Alex's passport has been held up.  Some nitwit entered his birthdate incorrectly, and apparently this error caused them to stop processing his passport (despite the fact that both his birth certificate AND his application state his correct birthdate).  Just goes to show you can't trust anyone to get things done properly or in a timely manner. 

This means our trip, or more accurately, Alex's and my trip (as John has to go next week regardless of whether or not Alex's passport arrives) may be postponed.  This makes me so frustrated, my head could burst into flames at any moment.

I have made four calls to the National Passport Information Center since yesterday afternoon trying to sort the whole thing out.  So far, I've gotten no where.  The first two calls I was told they never recieved Alex's application at all.  A few colorful explatives and a frantic phone call to my husband later, I called them again (calmer now after having talked to John) to find out about the birthdate snafoo.  I was assured that everytihg would get rolling again and we should receive the passport by Saturday.  I called them again this morning (of course I don't trust them) and it's still not fixed.  I was told to call again tonight. 

Oh, I'll be calling you this afternoon National Passport Information Center.  In fact, I'll be calling you a minimum of twice a day every day until I get that passport in my hot little hands.  You don't know nagging until you've met Jamie Dillier.  I was born to nag. 

Farting and bee poop

Him (nudging me awake in the middle of the night): "Did you just fart?"
Me:  "What?"
Him:  "I thought I heard you just fart"
Me:  "Did you seriously wake me up to ask me that? I'm asleep."
Him:  "Were you really asleep or are you just pretending you were because you farted?"
Me: "You woke me up.  I don't know if I farted.  Maybe I did.  I can't be held responsible for things I do when I'm sleeping"
Him:  "You farted"
Me:  "I was ASLEEP!"

Since we were now awake because of my alleged farting, we ended up having this gem of a conversation:

"Did you know that honey is bee vomit?"
"Really?"
"Yea, I saw something on TV about it.  Isn't it gross?"
"No"
"No?  It's vomit!  Ew!"
"But it's from a bee.  It's not real vomit.  It's honey"
"Maybe it's bee poop not vomit.  I'll have to look that up."
"Bee poop huh?"
"Yea, if it is bee poop, would you still eat it?"
"Well yea, I mean, it's not really poop, it's honey"
"So if they labeled those little bears 'Bee Poop' you'd still eat it?"
"Well, when you're saying 'bee poop', it's not like real poop, it's honey, and it's good"
"What if I pooped honey, would you eat it?"

 

Smarter than the average bear

We're in the office and Alex grabs the phone off the charger and takes off with it laughing.  I chase after him and snag the phone back.

He returns, grabs the phone off the charger again, takes off laughing, closes the office door in my face and runs away.  I open the door and find him hiding behind one of our sofas pushing buttons on the phone.  I snag the phone back.

Undaunted, he returns again and hands me a toy and babbles something to me.  I take the toy and look at it, saying inane things to him like "Wow, isn't this a great toy. Thank you!"  while continuing to surf the web.  I hear the door shut behind me and the sound of laughter.  He's stolen the phone again after distracting me with the toy.  Again I grab the phone and I put it up on the printer out of his reach.

Alex returns once more, again with another toy.  But I'm on to him, and besides, the phone is out of reach.  He busies himself by getting into the box we have under our desk that hold receipts.  He opens it up and flings receipts all over the room.  I move him out of the way and start cleaning up his mess.  Just as I'm about done, the door closes and I hear an evil toddler laugh and the sound of him running away.  The phone?  It's gone.  I still don't know how he did it, but clearly the kid can outsmart me.

The new toy

Me:  "So, are you going to let me use your new MP3 player on our trip?"
Him:  "You've got your own"
Me:  "But why would I bring mine if I could just use yours?"
Him:  "Why would you use mine if you've got your own?"
Me:  "I want to use the cool one.  Mine's old.  I'll only use it if you're not."
Him:  "No"
Me:  "Meanie"
Him:  "But you've got your own"
Me:  "Meanie"

T minus 10 days and counting

Well, it's getting down to the wire now.  We're 10 days from take off and I'm beginning the "freak out spiral" that will likely last until we're safely tucked in bed at our hotel in Panama City with our bodies and luggage intact.  Every post for the next 10 days will probably be about our upcoming trip and how I'm freaking out.  Consider yourselves warned.

My passport arrived a couple of days ago (my picture is monumentally horrible.  It's too bright and they took it so close up that I look like I've got a giant head) but Alex's passport is still MIA.  They told us not to expect either of them until Feb 2nd, and I was (kinda) cool about that.  But since mine got here and Alex's didn't, despite the fact that we applied the very same day, I'm getting a bit anxious.  It's not likely that anything could be holding it up, he's as American as apple pie.  His passport application was really straight forward, and we provided all of the appropriate documentation and signatures.  But I worry none-the-less. 

I've finally found out what hotel we'll be staying in and confirmed that they do take Discover Card, and was breathing a sigh of relief until I took a closer look at the reservation and noticed two problems.  It has us checking out on March 7th (we don't leave until March 10th).  This makes me worry because when I was on the phone with the reservation agent she mentioned the hotel is booked solid.  I can't do anything to fix it because John's work is supposed to make all of the preparations.  So I have to rely on him to fix it.  Basically that means I've got to nag him all week to contact someone about it.  Problem number two is that even though we are getting a discounted rate, our hotel stay will still cost about $4500.  We have a limit of $3000 on our card.  So John's on the phone right now trying to raise our limit. 

There is some good news though.  We've arranged for John's sister to house sit.  She comes as a package deal including a boyfriend and a guard dog.  So the house and our kitty will be well cared for.  I've borrowed some nice luggage from my mother and have already begun to pack mine and Alex's bags.  John will pack his own probably the hour before we leave for the airport.  Alex still fits in last summer's clothes, I just need to get him some new sandals (he was a size 2 last summer, now, he's a size 6!  He's got his daddy's gigantic feet.).  And, the Dill Chip still has 10 days to make her big debut so John and I don't have to wait a whole month to see our new niece (no pressure Jen). 

Is it just me?

Or is this one handsome little boy?

Peek-a-boo

Now that I've learned how to embed YouTube videos in my blog, I think I'll treat you to another one.  Alex playing peekaboo.

Practice

Alex got a baby doll for his birthday that has been largely ignored until recently when we pulled it out about a month ago. I've been trying to prepare Alex for his baby cousin "Dill Chip" who is due to arrive in a few weeks.  I have high hopes that since the two of them will be so close in age (less than a year and a half apart) that they will grow up to have a close relationship.  I didn't grow up with any cousins or siblings around and I feel that I really missed out.  Since I don't plan on giving Alex a sibling any time soon, Dill Chip is the next best thing.

So we took out the doll and I've had Alex practice touching the baby softly, kissing it's forehead, giving it hugs... He does really well for a few minutes until his destructive side kicks in, he grabs the doll and starts throwing it to the floor.  Almost like he's trying to bounce it like a ball.  At this rate Alex won't be allowed in the same room as Dill Chip, at least until she can fight back.

More planning for Panama

The last couple of days I've been feeling ridiculously sluggish in the mornings and again about an hour before bedtime.  Sunday I slept in until 10:00 am.  Yesterday, I went to the mall to walk like usual and I didn't have the energy to extract and assemble the jogging stroller from my trunk so I just walked Alex around the mall in the umbrella stroller (which, if I were a little shorter, wouldn't have been so bad.  The hunching over to reach the handles while attempting to keep up a brisk pace hurt my back).  This morning, I just couldn't do it.  Alex woke up at 6:30, I tried to convince him to sleep a while longer in my bed.  No dice.  I took him to the couch and passed out while he watched Teletubbies and Aurthur (yea, I know, great parenting huh?).  Finally I decided it was time to call in reinforcements.  My mother arrived with energy to spare and played with Alex for two hours while I zonked out in my room.  Apparently that's all I needed, a few child free hours alone in bed, because now, I'm feeling just fine.

We've finally got our trip to Panama all setup.  Well, mostly anyway.  Alex and I are still waiting for our passports, but we've booked our flights and as I understand it our hotel will be booked by John's work and we won't be renting a car (I guess the plan is to travel around via taxi).  We had to pay for mine and Alex's flights.  Alex's tickets cost $250 and he doesn't even get a seat!  My tickets were close to $700, but at least I get a seat with that.  I'm totally planning on snagging extra beverages and peanuts on these flights!

I'm concerned about Alex not having a seat for two separate four hour flights.  I mean the kid is WILD.  I'm afraid they'll see him coming and tell me "I'm sorry, wild animals need to be properly crated and stored in the luggage compartment".   If we get to our layover in Atlanta intact, it'll be a miracle.  We'll have a four hour layover and then another four hour flight into Panama.  My plan is to have him run laps around the Atlanta airport so he'll be pooped out for the second flight. 

Today, I went out and bought a kid-leash.  Well, the box said it was a "Safety harness".  It's totally a leash.  I figured there's no way Alex will sit still in his stroller at the airport for four hours and at least having him on a leash will give him a bit more freedom to run around, but still give me the security of knowing he won't run off or get snatched.  Alex LOVES it.  It looks like a backpack in the shape of a puppy, and it's made of this real soft material that causes Alex's thumb to take up permanent residence in his mouth.  The fact that Alex thinks his new leash is the coolest thing since canned green beans makes it easier for me to deal with the Hippie in my head screaming that children aren't animals and shouldn't be put on leashes.

Another thing John and I are fretting about is whether or not to take a car seat.  I've never so much as driven across a parking lot or down the driveway without Alex secured in his car seat (Britney Spears I am not), so the thought of riding around Panama City without him being safely strapped in makes both of us a little uneasy.  But the logistics of installing a car seat into a taxi, uninstalling it, and lugging it around with us while sight seeing seems asinine.  I'm inclined to just take one with us so we'll have it if we need it.  But even that seems like overkill.  We're already going to have no less than three big suitcases, two backpacks, a rolling carry-on and a stroller.  Add a feisty toddler and a bulky car seat and it's most certainly a recipe for chaos.  At least we've still got another two weeks to figure all this out.

Blue Monday

I couldn't figure out why I felt so rotten all day yesterday and made John take care of Alex while I slept the morning away.  Then today I woke up in a funk.  Apparently January 22nd is recognized as the most depressing day of the year.  They really need to print that on calandars so we can prepare for it ahead of time.

Our future is so bright, we've got to wear shades

When I look at this picture, it's hard to believe that not that long ago, Alex was this small, this fragile.  He actually sat still!  Alex was born perfectly healthy, but just hours after his birth he developed an infection and had to stay in the hospital nursery for four days.  When I was sent home without my son, John and I spent two days basically camped out at the hospital nursery, occasionally driving home in the middle of the night to catch two hours of sleep before we'd get a call "he's awake, do you want to come feed him?" and we'd rush to the car and drive back to the hospital so I could nurse him.  Those were the hardest few days of my life.  Feeling completely helpless to protect my baby.  Not being able to figure out how to breast feed him with any degree of privacy (no less than a dozen people handled my boobs during this time).  Terrified that our baby was not going to be healthy and the unknown future for our new family. 

Now days, Alex is the picture of health and happiness.  And sometimes I take for granted the comfort I now feel in my role as his mother.  As I write this, I literally hear the "pitter patter of tiny feet" as Alex runs around upstairs (Daddy is watching him), and I can't help but smile, knowing he's off to cause trouble somewhere, get into something he knows he's not supposed to. 

Alex is turning out to be someone completely unique, and often surprising.  I always thought that babies were a blank slate.  As a parent, you basically mold your children into who they would become.  I suppose in some ways, who Alex is becoming is due to the way John and I are raising him, but there are many aspects of his budding personality that are so uniquely Alex.  Since Alex has come into our world, I'm discovering parts of my personality that I didn't know I had.  The way that I view the world, even some of my long held beliefs are changing.  Watching him explore his world, meeting new people and find joy in every day moments and things, I'm slowing down and smelling the flowers myself.  I find myself more open to new experiences.  I'm beginning to wonder if perhaps we as parents don't mold our children, perhaps it's our children who mold us.

I've always considered myself basically anti-social. I don't know how to relate to people very well and I feel  awkward in social situations.  However, Alex, being such a social little guy, I'm getting out every day to provide him opportunities to socialize.  It seems to be his goal to make friends with every living thing wherever we are.  I watch him approach strangers, adults and children with no fear. He'll show them toys, appreciate the soft material their pants are made of, occasionally, he'll run to each person laughing and clapping at them until they laugh and clap right back.  Daily I find myself having conversations with perfect strangers, always beginning with "You have such a cute friendly little boy!".  I couldn't be more proud of him, but I can't really take credit for how amazing he is because that's just him.

John, you and I are so lucky.  Our son is incredible.  He's made everything in our lives more colorful, more joyous.  Alex, you simply amaze me every day.  I love you more than you can ever imagine.  As a family, we have such an exciting future ahead of us.

Well, I'd never do that

Alex fought and fought his nap today.  I'm terrified he's phasing out napping all together which I am most certainly not ready for.  I rocked him, I gave him warm milk, I laid him in his crib and each time he stood up, laid him back down again (which just pissed him off).  I left him in his room and stood just outside his door (all the while he was jumping on his mattress).  I went back in to rock him again.  Nothing worked.  Finally, I just put him in bed, gave him his favorite rocket ship blankie and went downstairs (with the monitor of course).

This is significant because "cry it out" is pretty much the last surviving "when I'm a mom I'd never do that" for me.  We all have them.  You know, those things you see other mom's do that you swear you won't.  Whether it be pain relief during childbirth, pacifiers, co sleeping, breastfeeding, letting your baby cry it out...  The list goes on and on.  Almost every woman I know, before she has kids, during pregnancy, somtimes even during those first few newborn months, has the ideal in her head how she will raise her child.  And it most certainly won't be the way THAT woman does it.  We're all judgemental bitches, let's face it.  I know I am.

I pretty much gave in to all of my "I'll never do its" within Alex's first three months.  We co slept, he had a pacifier for a little while, I supplemented breastfeeding with formula, I went back to work full time, I quit my job just before he turned one, I let him eat goldfish crackers and french fries (sometimes even off the floor!).  But I could never let him cry it out for naps or bedtime.  It was just heartbreaking to me, to think that my baby is in there crying for me, needing me, and I wasn't rushing in to rescue him.  But now, the booger is almost 16 months old and threatening to do away with naps all together.  On a couple of occassions he's conned me into letting him skip his nap, and we all pay for it later in the day, Mr. Grumpypants.  Clearly, he still needs his nap.

So I am downstairs, my heart was breaking listening to him scream in his crib through the monitor.  But, I knew he was ok.  He was fed, changed, had a bottle, had his blankies...  It was a full hour past his regular nap time.  And you know what?  Five minutes.  That's all it took.  Five minutes and he's now snoozing away up there.  So maybe "Cry it out" for a toddler isn't so bad.  I still don't think I'd do it with a small baby.  But for Alex, maybe that's just what he needs, to learn to soothe himself to sleep.  Like everything else about parenting, we'll try it and see how it goes.

I don't really have much to write, but I want to post, you know, just to keep the blog from getting all dusty.  I suppose I do have some general bitching I can do:

• We're supposed to leave for Panama in three weeks and we still have no information. No flight info, no hotel info, we don't even know where in Panama we're going.  We don't know if John's company will be booking mine and Alex's flights along with John's.  Alex and I could end up flying there alone. A thought that makes me get all jumpy and anxious just thinking about it. 



• Still on passport watch.  They're due here by the 2nd if everything goes well.  We'll be leaving (supposedly) on the 6th so that doesn't give us any margin for error.



• Alex has shortened his afternoon nap from three hours to 1.5 hours.  Occasionally even skipping the nap all together.  I'm still reeling from the loss of the two nap day (last recorded two nap day was in December).  This nap reduction must stop!  We're dangerously close to zero naps and that is pretty much the only thing that keeps me sane. 



• Mall walking totally rocks.  We're usually there for an hour.  30 minutes walking and 30 minutes in the play area.  Alex has a great time and I get a little bit of exercise.  Why didn't I think of this sooner?



• Alex is cutting all four of his first molars.  It's been going for over a week, and those suckers are just taking their sweet painful time.  Orajel?  HA!  Doesn't even touch the pain. 



• I'm sick of the effing cold already.  (Panama, here I come!)

Veggie boy

Inexplicably, Alex prefers veggies over any other foods.  I offer this as proof:

He actually had to reach over the pepperoni pizza to get to the green beans.  Then he did this:

Yes, that is a picture of my son defiling a perfectly good pepperoni pizza with green beans.  He totally ate it that way.  With the green beans on it.  What am I to do with this kid?  It's just not normal!

What is the nutritional value of boogers?

Alex is teething again (molars!) and it's winter, so we've had a double dose of booger-beak these days.  He'll sneeze and two slimy green ropes of snot will fly out of both nostrils and just hang there.  Usually I'll try to get to Alex quickly and wipe them up or else he'll rub them all over his face, which is just lovely, let me tell you.

The other day, he'd been sneezing all morning long, snot was everywhere, his face, his clothes, my clothes, his hair...  I was doing the dishes when I heard the "Achoo!"  from the family room (which I'm beginning to just refer to as the playroom, because that's where all his toys are), I grabbed a towel and walked reluctantly toward him to do booger detail again, but when I bent down to wipe his face, the boogers were gone, save a little bit around the rim of his nostril.  He was licking his lips and grinning.  Yes, he had eaten his boogers.

The point of this post is not really to say how gross it is that Alex ate his own boogers.  I mean, kids do that all the time right?  The point of the post is this:  I was happy about it.  My first thought was "Good job Alex!" and relief that that was now one less thing I had to worry about cleaning up.

To certify that I own a 2005 male child made in the USA

After three days and six phone calls later (two of which assured me there was no way I could just go and pick up a birth certificate for my son), I get hold of someone in the vital records department to ask why the hell my order hasn't even been processed yet.  They told me they still showed no record of my order. I asked again, why the hell I can't just come down and pick the damn thing up, to which the nice lady on the phone asked me "are you in Utah?"

"Yes! I'm in Sandy."
"Oh, well you could just come down to the Sandy office and get one."
"I can? Two other people told me I couldn't"
"Oh sure, it takes about 10 minutes."
"10 minutes! Why didn't someone tell me this on Monday? I need it ASAP."
"Yes, and it's only $15"
"Lady, if you're just screwing with me, so help me..."
"No really, here's the address"

And she rattled off an address that was only about five miles away.  I decided to go down there first thing this morning and get this fabled birth certificate everyone tells me exists, but I can't seem to get my hands on.  I walked into the office, filled out a short form, showed my driver's license and 10 minutes later I was holding what they told me was my son's birth certificate.  It looked like a car title to me. 

I called the place I'd ordered his birth certificate from to cancel my order and was told that it was just completed today so I couldn't cancel it.  So, supposedly, I have two more birth certificates coming in the mail next week.  Pretty soon I'm going to be up to my ears in birth certificates.

I'm still not sure that this thing they tell me is his birth certificate is what I need for Alex's passport.  It doesn't have the raised seal or doctor's signature like my birth certificate has.  But, I'm going to give it a go anyway.  John needs to find Alex's social security number (we received the cards, and of course, now can't find them) and we'll probably go in to apply for his and my passports this week.

Working under the assumption that our passports will be done in time and we are indeed going to spend a few weeks in Panama soon, I went to the library and checked out all the literature they have on Panama.  A whopping three books: two guidebooks and a book about explorers lost in the Darian Jungle (a place where we most certainly won't be visiting during our trip).  I'm sure the guidebooks will be of more help once we get more information on the trip, where we'll be staying and for how long. 

I also checked out some "learn to speak Spanish fast" type CD sets.  One of them I think will be very helpful as it goes over lots of travel related things like:

"Where is the train station?"
"I need two tickets please"
"Where is the smoking car?"

The other one seems to think I'm going to a Spanish speaking country to do nothing but party.  It has me practicing phrases such as:

"Where is the closest bar"
"I would like a large beer"
"I would like two margaritas please"
"Where are the men?"
"Where are the women?"
"How much does it cost"
"I have a problem"
"I have a small package"

Panama

We may or may not be spending a month in Panama for John's work.  We may or may not be leaving on an undetermined date for a month, or shorter, or longer.  We may or may not have enough cash / credit to finance this trip since John's work isn't fronting the money (which makes no sense to me), though they will be reimbursing us once we return.  The only sure thing I do know is to travel out of and into this country, John, Alex and I need to have valid passports.

The passport thing is quickly becoming frustrating since I don't seem to have any proof that Alex is the biological child of John and me nor do I have proof that he was born in this fine country.  For some damned reason they won't take my word for it.  He has my eyes, people, my eyes!  When we had Alex, we thought we had ordered two copies of his birth certificate.  They never came.  Now, I have to pay another $40 and order them all over again and wait a possible two weeks for them to arrive.  Then John and I have to go in together to apply for Alex's passport and provide proof that we are his parents since he is a minor and can't apply on his own.  It could take 2-6 more weeks to receive his new passport and we're supposed to go to Panama next month!  In the meantime, I've lost my own passport which means I need to go through the process of applying for a brand new one, which again, is 2-6 weeks.  In the end, all this passport nonsense is going to cost us upwards of $350! Ugh.  At least John's recently renewed his, so he's good to go.

On top of proving we are US citizens and paying and waiting and waiting and paying, we also have to figure out the logistics of actually leaving for a month.  Do we just lock up and go?  What about the cat?  Do they take Discover in Panama? 

All that aside, I am really excited!  Panama is a place I'd probably never visit on my own, and to get to spend a month there is bound to be an adventure!

I dropped John off at the airport this afternoon.  He's going on a business trip to Vancouver, BC for a few days, which means:

There won't be any unnecessary crap on my kitchen counters

The TV won't be playing any sports

The bathroom will only smell like cucumber and melon lotion or sweet pea body spray

I will have the entire bed including the three blankets and seven pillows all to myself

Of course, I'll have this all to myself as well, which means I'll be real excited for John to come home soon.

Mr Talkative

It's like a toddler word-bomb has gone off in our house!  New words left and right.  Coming at you when least expected!  John, stickler as he is, still won't count any of them as official words until they are a) pronounced correctly and b) proven that he knows what they mean in multiple situations.  His list of approved words adds up to about 4.  My list however is as follows:

1. NO!



2. Daddy



3. Ball



4. Ball ball (football on TV)



5. Nye Nye (night night)



6. Bobble (bottle)



7. Kiddie (Kitty)



8. Doggie



9. Eye



10. Ahh (ear, that took me a while to figure out)



11. Noo (nose)



12. Mou (mouth)



13. Nice (meaning pet the kitty nicely)



14. Pea



15. Bean (green bean)

He says "Gree gree" a lot but I don't know what it means yet and I caught him saying "yum yum" once , but I think it may be a fluke.  Also, I've been having him watch these DVD's that are supposed to help him learn to read early.  I never really bought into the idea that my little baby could actually learn to read, but we watch them anyway, you know, just in case it does work.  To my surprise, the other day, when we got to the part where it displays just the word "NO" on the screen (there is no sound or indicator for what it says, just the letters) and Alex looked at me and shook his head no while saying "NO!".  Now, I'm pretty sure that could have been a fluke, he could have just decided at that moment that "NO! I don't want to watch this stupid DVD anymore Mom!" but man, quite the coincidence, and I'm going to be telling the story of how my 15 month old son learned to read for years to come.

Routine

I've put Alex on a strict sleeping / eating routine this week, and I tell you, he's a different kid!  Still wild and crazy mind you, but his two big problem areas: Meal time and sleep time have become *gasp* almost enjoyable! 

In the last two months or so we'd fallen into a routine of non-routine (or as an ex co-worker used to say "consistently inconsistent").  Alex would take naps when he wore himself out so much it was an absolute necessity.  Sometimes he'd take two naps, sometimes one, sometimes none at all.  At night we'd let him fall asleep either downstairs with us watching TV or in our bed and we'd transfer him to his crib once he was completely out.  Almost every single night he'd get up around 1 or 2 in the morning crying and I'd just bring him back to bed with us for the rest of the night where none of us would sleep well because Alex tosses and turns like a wild animal at night.

Meal times were a point of much anxiety for me because he's so skinny already.  I'd put him in his highchair to eat and he'd refuse everything, throw food on the floor, just plain scream... I'd pull everything out of my fridge and cupboards, put it on the table and present them to him like offerings, hoping not to anger him.  Now, he has specific meal and snack times.  He has the same breakfast everyday, oatmeal and yogurt and for lunch I offer him two items, usually a meat and a veggie or fruit.  If I'm giving him a new food, like a fish stick, one of the items will be a favorite like a green bean.  I don't force him into eating, and if he throws three things on the floor the meal is over.  Just like that.  No pleading, no getting angry, just take him out of the high chair and we're done.

He's now taking one 2 1/2 to 3 hour nap every afternoon and he has a regular bedtime at 8:30. He no longer is allowed to stay downstairs with us until he falls asleep nor is he allowed to fall asleep in our bed.  Though I do rock him to sleep in his room, we both enjoy that.  And you know what?  He hasn't fought it as much as I thought he would.  After the second day of the routine, he almost seemed relieved to follow it. I could tell he found comfort in knowing when to expect things to happen.  He's eating better and sleeping through the entire night waking between 7:30 and 8:00 am.

I'm cautiously optimistic that we've found the solution to our biggest troubles so far, though, from past experience this particular routine is temporary and we'll have to be flexible and adjust as he grows up.  For now though, I'm one happy mama!

The ladies man

So the mall walking worked out great today.  We got there just as the stores were opening up and it was just starting to snow outside.  We walked laps for a half hour and then I took Alex down to the play area which happened to be full of kids about 1-3 years of age.  Usually there's mostly older kids at the play area, but it looked to me, judging by the women in sweats and all the jogging strollers parked outside the play area, that mall walking is all the rage for mothers of toddlers during winter.

At the play area, Alex immediately allied himself with a pack of wild 2-3 year old boys.  There were at least six of them, they ran around the play area chasing each other and climbing on everything.  It was a joy to watch.  Then she came in.  She was dressed all in pink.  Pink coat, pink pants, pink shirt, pink shoes, pink ribbons in her hair.  She was a cute chubby little girl with a fluff of light brown hair pulled up in two tiny little pony tails at the top of her head.  She had to be about Alex's age, but she had at least a good several pounds on him.  She was all rolly polly with cheeks I had to restrain myself from pinching.  Apparently Alex likes his women with curves, just like his daddy does. 

For the next five minutes or so Alex continued to play with his new buddies, occasionally turning around to look at her.  Then suddenly, he broke from the pack and made a bee-line to her while she was sitting on a plastic dinosaur.  He went right up to her and started "talking" babbling what may have been toddler-ese for "Hey baby, what's your sign?".  She immediately pushed him and he fell flat on his butt (as you would expect a lovely woman to do when approached so boldly with such a lame line).  He was undaunted.  Got right back up and decided he needed to declare his love to her then and there.  He lunged at her, and grabbed her in a tight bear hug, they both went sliding off the other side of the dinosaur.  Of course she immediately began crying, but Alex looked triumphant.  Beaming proudly at me when I went to pick him up after their tumble.  We stayed at the play area another 15 minutes or so and he followed her around like a lovesick puppy the entire time.  Whether he was attracted to her stunning beauty or just her fancy pink attire, I may never know. 

No more excuses

I'm getting a jump on some of these resolutions today.  I know I've just been making excuse after excuse why I'm not loosing any weight.  Things like:

• John's home on vacation, I can't possibly eat healthily while he's home



• Oh, John's watching some sports show I don't care about, I think I'll sit with him and bitch about not getting to watch good TV instead of working out



• I just didn't have time to get on the elliptical during Alex's 3 hour nap.



• Let's celebrate the last day of John's home vacation by eating burritos the size of our heads!

And so on.

But today, John is officially back in the rat race, so I can't use him as an excuse anymore.  I'm going to try out 'mall walking' you know, going to the mall before it opens and walking briskly around.  This will also help in my goal to get Alex out more because after we walk I can take him over to the play area for a few minutes (provided other kids are there too I suppose).  We'll see how it goes.

And 2007 begins with the complete loss of my ability to cook and Alex dropping an "F" bomb

I was all spunky and optimistic yesterday, but so far, 2007 is already trying to break my spirit.  This morning, I woke up all bright eyed and bushy tailed.  Ready to take on the day.  I even offered to let John sleep in on what should have been MY day to sleep in. I was feeling generous, I was feeling happy. 

(we'd made a deal that while John was home on vacation we would take turns every other day letting one of us sleep in while the other gets up with Alex.  Of course, I've been getting screwed on this deal because Alex takes his first morning shit at 9:00AM which means John's dropping Alex and his stinky diaper on me every morning, while on his morning to sleep in, he doesn't rouse until well after 10 or 11.  Given that 9:00 is a full two hours later than I usually sleep, I haven't complained.  Much.)

I opened the blinds to find the first day of the year to be gloomy and grey out.  No matter, I thought, I was excited to start baking goodies for John's family's holiday party.  I had found a picture and a recipe for yummy chocolate brownies with cream cheese and raspberry frosting.  I'd cut out the picture of the delicious looking treat and had it on my counter for over a week.  I couldn't wait to bake them.  I got started, giving Alex a wooden spoon and Tupperware to play with while I cooked.  I took care to adjust the recipe for high altitude.  I'd purchased a brand new cake pan.  I got the first batch in the oven, turned on the timer and noticed a bottle of unopened canola oil on the counter.  I hadn't added it to the batter!  I hurried and opened up the oven and began to take the pan out when I saw two little hands grab the oven door.  "NO!" I yelled at Alex, pushing him away from the oven so he wouldn't burn his fingers, simultaneously dropping the cake pan inside the oven.  Brownie batter began oozing all over the racks and heating element.  "SHIT!" I yelled, and without thinking reached in and grabbed the pan without the hot pad, burning my finger.  "FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK!" I screamed.  In the dining room I hear my son's cute little voice yelling "FUCK FUCK FUCK!"  Great, I thought.  My son's first word of the year. 

I managed to clean most of the batter out of the oven, save one glob right under the heating element that was too hot to mess around with.  I started making another batch of batter, this time putting the oil in first, so as not to have a repeat performance.  I followed the recipe down to the letter, and the batter looked perfect.  I put the batter in the pan and the pan in the oven uneventfully and waited out the 15 minutes for it to bake.  I was feeling good about the brownies this time.  When the timer went off, I pulled the pan out of the oven and couldn't believe my eyes.  The brownies were completely lopsided.  Like Gumby.  Half the batter had risen up nicely and baked up nice and fluffy, while the other half of the pan just got all hard and crispy.  "What the hell?!"  I turned off the oven and went to our room and told John all about what had happened.  He seemed to think it was amusing.  I was heartbroken.  I laid down in bed and pulled the covers over my head to mope a little bit.  There was no way I was going to try a third batch.  What was I going to make?? 

After moping in our room for 10 minutes or so, I decided I'd try something altogether different. I'd make Peach cobbler.  You can't screw up a cobbler.  So I went to the grocery store and got what I needed.  When I came home, I decided to make Alex his lunch.  Fish sticks and green beans.  I put six sticks in a pan and popped them in the oven and started microwaving the green beans when I smelled smoke.  Brownie flavored smoke.  I opened up the oven to find the little glob of brownie batter I had left under the heating element on fire! 

"FIRE! FIRE!" I screamed, "HONEY! THERE'S A FIRE!" 
"What?"  John yelled from the basement
"FIIIIIRE!" I screamed back

John ran up the stairs as fast as he could to find me standing in the kitchen with smoke billowing out of the oven. 

"Is that the brownie batter?" He asked calmly
"YES! WHAT SHOULD WE DO? IT'S ON FIRE!"  I yelled, clearly having already lost my shit by this point

John simply closed the oven door.  "Just let it burn out."
"BUT THE FISH STICKS!  THE FISH STICKS!"

I opened up the oven and pulled out the pan of fish sticks and set them on the stove.  I didn't notice until after I'd let go of the pan that I hadn't used a hot pad. "GOD DAMN IT!" I shrieked and ran to the sink to run cold water over my hand.

I looked over at Alex who'd been watching the commotion from the dining room with a shit eating grin on his face.  This was so much more entertaining than Teletubbies.

After Alex had lunch and went down for his nap, I decided to give this dessert baking thing one last go.  Third time's a charm right?  So I am at this moment baking my peach cobbler.  It doesn't appear to be going well.  It's already been in the oven for 45 minutes and it's still soupy.  I'm giving it 10 more minutes and then I give up.  I'm covered head to toe in sugar and flour and my hair smells like burnt brownies.  If this cobbler doesn't work out I'm going to go buy some oreos and milk and leave it at that.