An excuse to not go on a diet

Alex loves my legs.  If I'm changing my clothes, the second I get my pants off, he runs over and hugs my thighs.  If I'm walking around the house in my jammies (a pair of boxers and t-shirt, sexy, I know), I can't get him off me.  He permanently attaches himself to my leg in a bear hug.

My thighs are without question the least attractive part of my body.  They're white, dimply and since the pregnancy, are covered in spider veins that have created a pretty accurate map of the New York City Subway system. The fact that Alex finds them irresistible is just one more thing that makes him a weirdo.  But I am flattered. His pure love and appreciation for a part of my body I can't stand makes me take another look at them.  No wonder he loves them.  They're soft, squishy and probably comfortable to take a nap on.  Maybe I don't hate them as much as I thought I did.

Things I've been thinking about

1. When positioned just right, Alex looks exactly like Matt Damon in the rear view mirror in my car.



2. I don't know if it's just because I'm used to Alex Skinny-Bones, but whenever I'm out and about I see these gigantic chubby babys.  Their ankle fat flowing over their socks, hands almost hidden under rolls of arm fat.  Is this normal?  Have babies always been this chubby?  Some of them look like they're about to explode.



3. Every morning for several weeks there has been a songbird outside our bedroom window waking us up at 6AM with it's horrible awful screeching.  I've never heard a bird sound like that before.  It was terrible.  Well, the other night, we were woken up at 3:00 am by that same bird making an even more annoying noise.  Almost like a squawking.  We haven't heard it since.  We're thinking either it finally got laid and flew away, or a cat ate it.

You scream, I scream, we all scream for ice cream

It's probably not a good idea to give a 20 month old kid an ice cream cone in his car seat while you're driving around town on a hot day.  It can make a wee bit of a mess.  You'd think this would be a no brainer, but apparently, for me, motherhood has a learning curve.

See, I didn't think he'd take it.  I bought the ice cream for myself.  Up until today Alex has hated ice cream with the fire of a thousand suns.  Nothing disgusts him more.  So when he was begging for my ice cream cone from the back seat, I gave it to him, thinking he'd take a lick, make the yucky face, and I could have it back.  No harm, no foul.  But today, after the initial lick and the requisite "Ewwww" face, he took another lick, and another, and another...  I was overjoyed.  My son was finally acting like he'd come from my gene pool after all.  You don't know how hard it is having a son who likes fruits and veggies and organic waffles when I'd happily take a naked swim in a vat of Ben & Jerry's.  I suspect it was the novelty of having the ice cream in a sugar cone rather than on a spoon.  Either way, he now likes vanilla ice cream, and my backseat is covered in vanilla sticky.

We went there, and did this... Weekend redux

We've had a pretty good weekend so far.  Being Memorial Day today, it's not even over yet.

Friday evening was our neighborhood's annual BBQ.  I went last year and had a wonderful time.  John, not much for socializing (like I am?) didn't want to go, but I begged and begged and he finally agreed.  We re-worked our weekend plans with some friends and attended the BBQ which, conveniently, was being held right in front of our house.

Turns out John had a good time, once he had a couple of beers (poured inconspicuously into a large plastic cup so as not to offend the our alcohol free neighbors).  He even engaged in a spirited game of Frisbee with a couple of twelve year old girls. 

Alex joined all of the neighborhood kids in the yard of the older gentleman who lives across the street.  He'd long left the BBQ to be at home with his wife and fluffy white dog, but for whatever reason, the neighborhood kids decided his yard was the place to be.  About 20 kids running through his flower beds and throwing balls over the fence into his back yard.  Alex was so thrilled to be playing with other kids (almost all of them older than him from 1 year to 13 years old) He didn't want me or John anywhere near him.  Parents are so uncool you know.  So for the duration of the party, we kept an eye on him from afar, only going to him after he fell down or got kicked in the head by a kid on a swing.  He was playing so rough and rowdy, by the end of the party, he was black and blue with scrapes on his knees and elbows. 

Saturday, John went golfing with his brother and Alex and I went to the park.  Then we got together with some friends and their three year old daughter and went to the zoo.  The zoo was packed, but we had fun anyway.  Alex really got a kick out of the meerkats while I found myself in awe of the giraffes.  They were being fed inside and you could go in the building and they were right there, huge and odd looking.  For a good half hour I couldn't seem to shut up about giraffe poop.  They poop like rabbits.  Little poo pellets.  I found that fascinating.

Yesterday John played with Alex downstairs while I layed on the couch and felt fat and ugly.  I get this way, usually one day every month, a couple days before my period starts, I lay around on the sofa and whine and moan about being fat.  The next day, I get up, still fat, but feeling better about it.  John took us out to dinner later that evening.  Which was lovely until Alex threw up his entire meal right there on the table.  This was one of those times where I really notice how motherhood has changed me.  I cleaned up the mess, washed my hands and then we stayed and ordered dessert.

Today John and I slept in in shifts.  I got up with Alex at 7:00, let John sleep until 8:30, then I got to nap from 8:30 to 9:30 until John had to leave to go golfing with the guys.  Jen and Lily came over and made chicken salad sandwiches for lunch, which were quite yummy.  We were going to go to IKEA, but Alex started acting like a brat, so I figured a couple of hours fighting with him to sit still in a shopping cart wouldn't be very enjoyable.  We took him to the park to play in the sandbox instead.  Now I'm just killing time until he gets up from his nap so I can go to JP's house to watch the Jazz game while everyone swims.  I likely won't be parading my white flabby thighs around my brother-in-law's pool.  But Alex will probably get in and splash with everyone.

IKEA, I think I love you

So I finally got into IKEA today.  Alex and I got there 30 minutes before they opened.  The employees were directing people (already several hundred of us) to the restaurant upstairs.   We got a yummy Cinnamon roll and coffee, Alex got an OJ (the meatballs weren't out for breakfast).

Once the store officially opened at 10:00, we began to wander around, Alex on his puppy leash.  The place was HUGE and I was in pure heaven. A lot of the stuff reminded me of department stores in Denmark.  Apparently Scandinavian style hasn't changed much in the last decade.

I think I showed tremendous restraint.  When we finally got to the checkout, I only had the following in my basket:

• 2 rugs (bathmat size)



• A posable wooden doll/statue



• a wooden rolling toy for Alex



• 2 wood magazine holders



• small table and two chairs (Alex sized)



• a bag of frozen meatballs



• reusable shopping bag

When John came home for lunch, he started noticing all the stuff I'd bought around the house.  I asked him to guess how much I spent.

"$200?"
"Are you serious?  You think I'd just drop $200 without asking you?"
"$100?"
"Lower"
"Well, if you spent less than $100, I'm happy"
"Would you believe me if I told you I spent $35?"
"No, I wouldn't"
"Well, it's true"
"Awesome"
"I LOVE IKEA!!!!!!!!"

One day, IKEA, one day I will know your meatbally goodness

I've been so excited about the new IKEA opening up.  All week, I've been saying to John "Guess how many days until IKEA opens?"  Of course, he doesn't care.  At all.  But me, oh, I've been DYING for Utah to get an IKEA.  All we need now is an In n Out Burger and I won't hate living in Utah nearly as much.

This morning while John, Alex and I were having breakfast and watching our morning TV (ESPN news and Aurthur if you were interested), I could barely contain my excitement.  IKEA opens TODAY!  TODAY!  I hadn't planned on going to the grand opening, but since Wednesday playgroup isn't until 11:00, Alex and I didn't have anything to do, so we got dressed and headed out to Draper to check out the place that could very easily become the catalyst for our financial ruin.  Oh how I love Swedish furniture and home accessories.  Specifically, CHEAP furniture and home accessories.  And if the store that sells such things also sells meatballs... well, my love for such a store could know no bounds.

Almost as soon as I got on the freeway, still two exits away from the store, I found myself in the line to the IKEA parking lot.  The line went quickly.  The parking lot attendants were surprisingly efficient.  We scored a spot fairly close to the front entrance and went to get in line to get into the store.  That's where I discovered that my love for IKEA did indeed have bounds.  We walked around and around the building looking for the end of the line only to discover after two laps that the line went around the entire building and doubled back to the front again.  And more people were arriving every second.  I realized that I do not love Swedish furniture and home accessories or meatballs nearly enough to wait in line for several hours with a toddler. 

Dejected, I trudged back to the car and drove home, vowing that I would soon return for a more intimate introduction to IKEA.  Someday when several thousand people didn't stand between me and my affordable home decor.

How did this kid, who is so obviously cool
 

Come from me, who is so obviously... a dork?

I've got nothin'

Jen came over this afternoon and put girly shoes on Alex and let him run around the backyard, breaking them in for Lily to wear in a year.  That was fun especially because they squeaked with every step he took making it feel like he was some strange she-boy squeaking cartoon character.  Aside from my son dressing in drag from the ankles down, nothing interesting is going on around here.

I really want to start writing more interesting stuff on this blog.  So far it's a blog that even I'm not interested in reading and I write the damn thing.  Maybe I'll order Mighty Girl's book (and while I'm at it, maybe I'll get the shirt too) and see if it can spark some new ideas and maybe some better writing.  After all, that's why I started the blog in the first place, to become a better writer.  All I've done so far is create an online baby blog for Alex.  While valuable in that way, it's not quite what I want this blog to be.  So, I'm going to take the weekend off, think about my writing goals, and see if I can't come back next week with some better content.

Wish me luck!

DVR dillemma

Today we had the cable guy out to fix our DVR.  Oh DVR, why have you forsaken us?  And why now?  Now when all of the shows we watch are airing their season finales. YOU BASTARD DVR!   We've missed two episodes of The Riches!  We missed the entire ballroom portion of Dancing with The Stars this week.  Because you are broken we now have to watch The Office, Scrubs and My Name is Earl in real time with commercials.  We've only had DVR for about a year now and already we're completely dependent. 

The cable guy wasn't supposed to come until tomorrow afternoon, but at 9am sharp this morning a cute little Mexican guy showed up at my doorstep saying he had an order to add cable boxes to two more TV's.  Problem is, we only have two TV's and both already have cable boxes hooked up. I don't know where that came from, but since he was already here, he went ahead and replaced our DVR.  He was here for three hours and still didn't get it fixed, apparently Comcast has some problems with their DVR service right now.  So now New DVR is sitting atop our big HD TV doing a whole lotta nothing.  At least Old DVR had an episode of The Riches saved.  Gah.

The Daddy/Daughter Connection

I am not a spiritual person.

I don't believe in ghosts.

That said, I really want to write about the fact that my newfound hobby, photography, has brought me closer to my father.  My dead father.  I don't really know how to write about it.

My dad was a photographer, a professional even, long before I came along.  I remember as a child squeezing between stacks of dusty boxes in the garage to get to his old prints.  I'd thumb through them, pick out my favorites and pin them to my bedroom wall (at one point, I had an artsy black and white print of some hills pinned above my hot pink stereo.  Imagine how embarrassing that conversation was when he told me that it wasn't a landscape, it was actually a pair of women's breasts.  Needless to say, the picture was quickly replaced by one of my older sister as a child).  I loved his pictures.  My love for my dad's photos turned into a love of photography in general as I got older.  Until recently, I never really tried to take better photographs myself, but have always been an lover and appreciator of other people's work.   

The last month or so that I've been taking these photography classes and attending the seminars for photo week, I've been thinking of my dad a lot.  At first it was a sad feeling that would come over me.  Wishing he were here because he would have loved this kind of thing.  But during the "Inspirational Photography" seminar this weekend with Bill Fortney, the feeling changed from a feeling of loss to a feeling of closeness.  I sat there watching the presentation and thinking how lucky I am that I get to share this hobby with my dad even though he is gone.  Almost like the part of him that is in me was bubbling up to the top and I felt like I understood a bit better what he was all about.  By understanding, appreciating and doing something that he always loved, in a way, enables me to share that with him.   

Not having a faith, not believing that I will one day see my dad again, makes for a very difficult grieving process.  Five and a half years gone and I still miss him terribly.  Now I feel hopeful more than sad.  Inspired even, to continue taking classes and get out there and try to take beautiful pictures.  Pictures he would have been proud to frame and display on his wall like I do of his. 

Days 6 & 7 of the Budget Challenge - Weekend damage & summary

All the typical weekend stuff:

Saturday
John's golf and lunch: $47
John bought me a Mother's day plant and card: It was a gift, so I'm not asking what he spent
I grabbed a Jamocha shake and a diet pepsi while at my "Inspirational Photography" seminar: $3
Grocery shopping: $47
Dinner out:  $30
Movie rental:  Free at the RedBox

Sunday
Mother's day McGriddles: $8
Misc Target purchases (a couple of groceries I forgot to buy Sat, yard tools, sprinkler toy for Alex and a shirt that I HATE and will be returning): $104
Contributions to various mother's day gifts: Still need the final total, but it should be <$100

Budget Challenge Summary
Well, we definately spent more than I'd hoped we would, however, we were very aware of how much we spent and what we spent it on, which is an inprovement.  All in all I think this was a worthwhile exercise and I want to continue (though I probably won't post about it because I'm sure it's pretty boring to read about). 

Mommy Dearest

To the one who supports all that I do
Who's read every blog post
Looked at every Flickr set
Told me that I'm a good mother
(Even as I'm pawning my son off on her so I can have a few hours alone)

Mom, you know me better than anyone, and love me anyway.  You laugh at my jokes and get my sarcastic remarks.  You support my dreams.  I am so glad I came from you.  I am so lucky to have a part of you in me.  I am a better mother because you've taught me how to love like a mother by loving me as you do.  I'm so proud to be your daughter.  So honored to be your one and only. 

I love you Mom.  Happy mother's day.

Day 5 of the Budget Challenge - Gluttony

Admittedly, we didn't even try yesterday.  To make matters worse, ALL of our purchases were food.

We both went out to lunch (separately): $14
John spent $20 at a charity bake sale
We got take out for dinner:  $20

So we'll be pooping about $54 sometime this weekend.

Day 4 of the Budget Challenge - Technicalities

Technically, we didn't spend any money yesterday.  YAY!  I do say technically though, because money was spent, but it wasn't technically ours. 

We got pizza last night, but John's brother paid, so though technically, we didn't spend money, officially, we now have an IOU.

John also bought another Denver Bronco's jersey (Don't get me started on my husband and sports jerseys.  It's clearly some kind of obsession with him) However, he used an eBay gift card, so none of our actual money was spent.

So there you have it.  One whole day without spending money, even though we actually did spend money.  I'm really beginning to wonder if we are even CAPABLE of not spending money every day.  This challenge seems to have exposed the fact that we in fact, aren't.

Day 3 of the Budget Challenge - But I got a great deal!

We did fantastic yesterday.  That is, John did fantastic.  I, however, caved under the pressure of my desire for proper digital photo editing software.  I made the mistake of attending a Photoshop Elements seminar yesterday afternoon (which was free) and I came home desperately, passionately, wanting to digitally enhance some of my shots.  The problem is, I don't have any tools with which to do such a thing.  Well, I have Paint, but I mean, come on. 

So, I did some research and found Photoshop Elements 5 on eBay for half what I would normally pay.  HALF!  So, I bought it.  Let's call it an early Mother's Day present.  Aw, Alex is so thoughtful :)

Day 3's spending total:  $40

Day 2 of the Budget Challenge - Unexpected expenses

The day started out ok with my spending a whopping $1.50 for a large Diet Coke at the Mom's Time Out Coffee Break.  Alex and I ate PB&J sandwiches before we left so we wouldn't be tempted by the all you can eat french toast special.  The bakery owner gave all the kids free oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, so we didn't feel like we were sacrificing at all.

Then John called from the car repair shop and it all went to hell.

The car needed to be evaluated for a few hours to figure out what was wrong with it, so Alex and I drove up to get him. I figured we'd all go back home and eat grilled ham and cheese sandwiches while we waited, but John wouldn't have any of that.  He didn't want to drive all the way home just to come back in a couple of hours, so we ended up staying in the vicinity of the repair shop.  This meant we spent money. 

• First, we stopped off to pick up John's golf club that was being repaired.  Cha ching:  $30



• Then we went to a Chinese buffet for lunch:  Cha ching:  $15 plus a $3 tip because Alex made a holy mess with green jello and cheese.
  



• Still needing to kill some time, we went to the park:  FREE!



• We were two hours past Alex's nap time so I dropped John back at the repair shop to wait it out with a handful of quarters for the vending machine:  $1.50



• Car repairs and oil change totaled $100 even though we didn't get the actual problem fixed (which would have cost an additional $600!)



• Then John had to buy crab grass killer and a sprinkler for our backyard costing $17

Needless to say, yesterday was not so great with a total money spent $168

That's $218 in two days!  Good God!  John and I stayed up last night talking about our budget and how we're nickel and diming ourselves into the poorhouse.  We've racked up almost $3000 on our credit card in the last couple of months (it would take whole other post to explain why we're using a credit card and not the debit card. I will note that we are doing it as a strategy for tracking our spending NOT because we don't have cash available in the bank) and have not made a single purchase over $100.  Everything is $20, $30, $40... When we're spending the money, we're thinking it's not that much, but it adds up.  It adds up to $2700 to be exact!

This revelation has made us more motivated than ever in the Budget Challenge.  We've estimated that if we stay on track, we'll be able to pay off almost the entire balance on that credit card at the end of the week.  So that's what we're doing.  Of course living debt free will only last a short while because we still have the $600 car repairs that we will probably take care of next week.  But we can take solace in the fact that it is a necessary expense.   

Day 1 of the Budget Challenge - The Fight

Well, I did fantastic.  I didn't spend one thin dime yesterday.  Not a penny.  Nada.  John on the other hand, went out and bought himself a Jazz Jersey.  We got into a fight about that.  I begged him not to, we exchanged words, and he left anyway to go get it after saying "Just remember who makes the money around here."  It didn't have to be a fight until he brought out the fighting words. 

The worst part about the fight was he had invited his family over to watch the Jazz game (he didn't even WEAR the damned jersey) and I had to stew in my pissed-offedness for HOURS before everyone left and we could finally hash it out.  Naturally, by the time we could talk about it, I'd read in every possible negative connotation from that one sentence:  He thinks I'm worthless because I don't make any money.  I have no say in our finances because I don't make any money.  I'm no longer an equal partner in our relationship because I don't make any money.  What I do doesn't count because I don't earn money for it.  He'd rather hurt my feelings and discount everything I do just so he can buy a stupid shirt.  He's just a jackass.... And so on.

In the end we worked it out, he apologized, and promised never to say anything like that to me again.  I was really hurt, but I did concede that I overreacted and read way too much into what he said.  Luckily we don't fight often. And make up sex always makes everything better.

Anyway, the total excess expenditures for the day was $50 for a Deron Williams jersey

Today John's got to get his car looked at (I'm still trying to decide if that should go in the "excess expenditures" category or not) and I forgot all about a mom's club breakfast this morning, so I'll be out about $5.

Budget challenge

This week John and I have decided to see if we could go a whole week without spending money on stuff we don't need.  Things like going out to eat more than once a week, buying sports memorabilia, cute clothes for the boy, wine and beer, buying more groceries when we have plenty of food at home, new purses, expensive cameras, new laptop computers, new work clothes for John, balls, balls and more balls for Alex... 

Since I quit my job over eight months ago, we've talked and talked about sticking to a budget, but we keep spending money as if we still have a two income household.  But now, we're talking about buying a new (used) car and we don't even know if we can afford it. The idea of a car payment makes both of us a little sick to our stomachs, but we don't have the cash to pay for a car outright.  We've decided we're going to "practice" having a car payment.  Put the money we would be spending on a car into the bank for a few months and see how it feels. If it's tight, maybe we'll just keep doing it until we can save up a good sized down payment.  If it's easily doable, maybe we'll go right out and buy my Toyota Prius. If I want my fuel efficient foreign made automobile complete with a hatchback that allows me to easily transport a jogging stroller, I need to earn it.  Since I don't make any money, the best I can do is put this family on a strict budget and save for the damned thing.

So to kick off our budget challenge, we're going to try to get by with minimal expenditures the rest of the week.  I've stocked the kitchen with food and snacks, no need to go out to eat until date night on Friday.  We've got plenty of toiletries, I've got a full daycare punch card for the gym and all of the activities I'm doing both with my photography seminars and outings with Alex are free this week.  So as of this moment, I will do a daily post of the cash we spend this week (I won't bore you or myself with our bills, that obviously need to be paid, this is for excess spending only).  My goal is to make myself aware of the money we're spending willy nilly every week.  It's so easy to just hand over a debit card and not even look at the amount I'm spending.  If I have to be held accountable for what I spend and why, I'll likely be more vigilant about sticking to the budget.

And... Go!

Yea, it was a good day

Yesterday, it was a good day.  My ear did not, in fact, explode.  It did, however, go deaf (I'm hoping only temporarily).  The pressure in my head and right ear was all but gone yesterday morning when I woke up, so I went ahead and drove out to the International Peace Gardens for a photography class field trip. 

Can I just stop for a second to say how much I'm LOVING these photography classes?  They came free with my camera purchase, and I totally expected them to be lame and boring, but instead, they've been very helpful.  I skipped out of two of the beginning classes because they were too basic.  I did sit in on the first half of one of them and left at the break because it was all stuff I knew about.  But the rest of them I've gone to have been very informative.  Talking about lighting and imaging, how to frame a more interesting picture using the rule of thirds, leading lines, etc.  They've even touched on technical stuff like setting aperture, shutter speed and ISO... I've learned things I didn't even know I needed to learn.  It's made me hungry for more.  I've got a few more classes left, then I'm going to look into taking more photography classes through the community college. 

Anyhow, back to our day.  The Peace Gardens were great and I think I got several good shots.  It was incredibly windy and cold and my fingers were frozen, but I left with 300 pictures on my card and grass stains on my knees and butt.  All signs of a productive and fun morning taking pictures. (click on the picture below to see the set on Flickr)

Tiki, originally uploaded by Jmelee.

John went golfing with his brother (in the rain and snow, they're CRAZY!) and Stephani babysat Alex until I got home from the gardens.  Alex loves having babysitters.  Anyone but same old boring mom is a nice change for him.  After we took Steph home, Alex fought me about taking a nap, but finally did go down for a couple of hours until he heard JP and John come home from golfing, then he was up and at 'em again.  The kid can't stand it to have visitors at the house and not be socializing.

 

John and I debated about whether or not to go to the Real soccer game.  They've been sucking all season, in fact haven't won or even scored a point since I think the first game.  That and the fact that the Jazz were playing in a game 7 of the playoffs made us really wonder if we should leave the cozy warmth of our basement and HD TV to brave the cold and rain to watch Real loose to the Red Bulls.  Ultimately, we decided to go to the soccer game because of some pretty bold changes, Jason Kreis, captain of the team, retiring and becoming head coach.  We decided we just HAD to see what would happen.

And we were not disappointed.  Well, we were for most of the game, but in the end, we tied it up.  It was a tie that very much felt like a win, considering the records of both the teams this season, plus the changes to the Real team, everyone just figured we'd loose.  When we didn't, well, it was joyful.  As John so eloquently put it, screaming down to the team after the game as they were taking their bows:  "The power of Kreis compels you!"

I took some pictures of Alex at the game and at Applebees for dinner with his beloved "Boon".

Alex all bundled up, originally uploaded by Jmelee.

The cherry on top of our evening, the Jazz won game 7 and move on in the playoffs.  Yea, it was a good day.

Sick day

I woke up this morning with the distinct feeling that my right ear was going to explode and take half my head with it.  I suspect it's either an ear infection or just some massive congestion from this stupid cold.  This is one of the crappier parts of being mommy.  The fact that even though I can't hear and I have a sharp stabbing pain in my ear and I'd really like to just lay down and die, I have a 19 month old who needs to be taken care of.  When John was sick this week, he stayed home from work and napped all day in the basement while I, also sick, took care of the child.  Ugh, I hate having to be the responsible one sometimes.

I pretty much spent the morning with the lights off, windows closed, laying on the sofa watching Ice Age: The Meltdown on a continuous loop.  Alex doesn't actually watch TV after 8:00 AM.  He's got better things to do you know.  Like tearing apart my kitchen and throwing all his toys down the stairs.  Having the TV on basically helped keep him in the family room and kitchen instead of tormenting the cat in my bedroom.  At 11:00 I made the mistake of convincing Alex he needed to take a nap early.  I was hoping I'd be able to nap along with him and when we woke up I'd be well rested and my ear would be better.  Well, since he wasn't tired, he only slept for 45 minutes and was more hyper when he woke up.  I wasn't any better.  In fact, I was hoping my ear would just go ahead and explode already.

Since I'd basically ignored him all morning, I took Alex to McD's for lunch, hoping he could burn off some steam playing in the play area.  I'd never taken him to McD's play area before, but my mom has and told me he has a good time.  The problem is that the play area is basically just a giant multi-level tube system.  This tube system looked like a giant Alex eating forest of plastic to me.  I didn't want him getting anywhere near the tube system.  I was sure he'd get lost in there and I'd never be able to retrieve him. They did have a little slide outside the tube system so I let him play on that for a while, but he snuck over to the tube system and went in.  I didn't panic at first.  He was still visible, but soon, as expected, he began to explore more and disappeared into the back area.  This was about the time I began to panic.  There were older kids in there trampling my son to death, I was sure of it.  Luckily, I hadn't let him take his happy meal toy in with him, it was a little gun that had clapping hands when you pull the trigger.  I grabbed his clapping gun and stood at the entrance to the tubes making it clap and saying "Alex, sweetie, it's time to go home" in the most calm and normal voice possible.  Hundreds of kids (OK, maybe it was dozens) were going in and out of the play area and I couldn't see my little baby who I was sure by now had managed to find some kind of opening and was dangling out one of the broken, jagged tubes by his chubby little fingers. As the panic began to take over my body, my vocal chords tightened and I was now making odd squeaking sounds vaguely sounding like "Alex, honey, PLEEEAAAAASSSEEEE come out".  As it turns out, he was just around the corner, only about six feet away from me, playing with a couple of little girls.  He poked his head around the corner and smiled at me and said  "Mommy!" and came right to me and grabbed the happy meal toy out of my hands.  We left immediately after picking up John's lunch.  I think from now on, I'll leave the McD's play place for my mom.  It's just too stressful for me.

So now I'm home with a very awake, very hyper little boy who will very likely NOT take another nap today.  My head is throbbing worse than before, and I have four very long hours to go before John gets home and I can indulge myself in the luxury of lying perfectly still in my bed in a Nyquil induced coma.

Child obsessed

Ball.  Ball.  Ball. Ball.  Ball.  Ball.  Ball.  Ball.  Ball.  Ball.  Ball.  Ball.  Ball!

Alex's love for balls has turned into a full blown obsession.  Soccer balls, basketballs, footballs, baseballs, rubberballs, whiffle balls... you name it.  We can not go anywhere or do anything without taking a ball with us.  If we see another ball while we're out, and Alex feels that it is better than the ball he already has, he will scream and whine and cry "Ball!  BAAAAAALLLLL!" in the most pathetic manner until we a) give him the object of his affection or b) put him in the car, pile three or four balls plus his blue easter bunny on top of him in his car seat and drive away quickly with him screaming "BAAAAAALLLLLL!"  all the way home.

Today we went to the park.  From the car Alex spotted a soccer ball that another little boy was playing with that he simply HAD to have.  He ran down the hill to the playground, right up to the little boy (who was probably 2 1/2 or 3), grabbed the soccer ball and ran away.  The little boy, not about to let this skinny pipsqueak steal his soccer ball ran after Alex, grabbed the ball, got up in his face and screamed "MY BALL!!  MY BALL!"  and ran off.  This did not deter Alex one bit.  For the hour and a half we were at the park, the majority of it Alex spent chasing after this boy while whining "Ball!  BAAAALLL  Ballballballballball!!!!" 

I tried all kinds of distractions.  I put him on the swings, where he wiggled and cried to get out.  I put him on the slides, where he would run off in the direction of the ball the minute he got to the bottom.  I put him on the teeter totter and he fell off, dusted himself off and ran off for the ball.  I gave him food, drinks, let him throw bark on my head... but nothing, absolutely nothing would get his mind off that damn ball.  At one point Alex did score the ball, the kid, apparently bored of having Alex following him around, abandoned the soccer ball and Alex got to play with it for a while, but it was short lived.  Thankfully, a friend showed up and brought her daughters and their hot pink soccer ball and let Alex play with it.  He did not let that ball out of his sight for one second.  He held it while he went down slides, swung on swings, rode the teeter totter, he buried it in the sand...

I don't know how to handle this obsession.  It's gotten to the point where if we're going somewhere and there is a possibility of even seeing a ball, I don't want to go.  No one has any fun, Alex makes himself miserable crying about how he absolutely, positively must have that ball immediately! Even at soccer games, Alex whines for the game ball.  He watches the ball go back and forth across the field, his "gimme hand" stretched out demanding someone give it to him.  I wish he'd just fixate on one ball in particular.  Preferably, one of the 15,000 balls he already owns.  Then we could just take THAT ball everywhere with us.  I'd rather see him defend his rightful ownership of his very own ball at the playground, than to scuffle with an older kid about a ball that is clearly not his (though, in Alex's mind EVERYTHING is his).

Alex has started getting up at 6:30 every morning. Why?  WHY???!!! It was bad enough when he woke up at 7:30, then he moved it up to 7 and now this?  Why does he hate me?