T-ball

Alex is playing sports for the first time this summer. He just finished t-ball and he starts soccer next week.  This is the first time he's ever done any kind of team sport where they actually play games. I'm glad he's doing this program this year because it's the perfect introduction to sports.  The first half of the time is practice and the last half is a friendly game.

He seemed to enjoy it, but I'm not sure t-ball is a very good first sport because there's a lot of rules and a lot of standing around waiting for stuff to happen.  I'm hoping that soccer makes a little more sense to him. 

When he got his team picture and certificate of completion today he was very excited. "Wow!" he said "That was GREAT!"  Now he's really looking forward to soccer.

Simple

We took the kids to a park along the Willamette yesterday.  It didn't have a playground or a sprayground to play in.  It didn't have any climbing structures or a sandbox, it didn't have anything really, other than a pretty view of the river and a big grassy area.  There was a "water feature" that had a sign posted saying it wasn't an official "wading pool" and not meant for children to play in.  Of course the kids play in it anyway. The way the feature is, it's just a depression filled with water, maybe 6 inches deep, a glorified puddle really.  There's no barrier keeping the kids out and it's basically irresitable to kids to splash in. 

So anyway, we went to this park, mostly to get out of the house and into the sun and fresh air. It was a saturday evening and I was worried about taking the boys and dog to one of the bigger, funner parks because they'd be packed and I wasn't in the mood to deal with a lot of people.  I chose this park because it's out of the way and boring.  Figured it would be fairly deserted.  And it was.

What was surprising is we really enjoyed ourselves.  I left the boys with John and took the dog for a walk along the river, walking almost all the way to George Rogers park (I call it the "River beach" because there's a sandy beach at that park and the boys and dog love to play in the water right there.) and back.  While Fancy and I were gone the boys splashed in the not-a-wading-pool, then we all took a little walk on this pier-thing and took in a view of the river which is AMAZING!  Seriously, I wouldn't mind being poor if we could live in our mini van down by the river. haha.

Even though the park doesn't have a playground the boys didn't mind, they found a nice big hill and John taught them how to roll down real fast (while making himself sick in the process) and they spent the rest of our time there just going up and down the hill.

A lot of weekends I spend a lot of time and energy (and sometimes money we don't have) trying to create "memories" and "experiences" trying to make the most out of the time we have together as a family.  I pack us all up and go to museums or to the zoo, out to dinner, to the coast, movies, sometimes I have a big detailed itenerary of activities for the weekend.  Sometimes these big plans go off without a hitch and we all have a great time, most times it's a fight getting out of the house, we get started getting ready late, John and I argue, the boys throw tantrums...we end up flustered and worn out..  Yesterday we didn't spend any money and didn't have a set plan and we had a wonderful time.

I need to keep in mind to keep it simple. The boys don't need big elaborate weekends to have fun.  We just need to be together.

Our other option is to become Canadians

We got some good news today, the boys were approved for OHP (Oregon Health Plan) so they'll have affordable health insurance for at least the next year.  The bad news is, John and I were denied.  They say we make to much. Ha! HAHAHAHAHA!  Make too much? How can anyone possibly make LESS than what we do right now?  John works part time and I make such a pathetic salary I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry when I get my paychecks.

We applied for individual coverage, a horribly expensive plan that covered hardly anything with a $10k deductible, and were denied. 

I'm not eligible for benefits at my company for another 2 months, but even then, it will cost nearly HALF my pay each check. HALF!!!  We're barely skating by with my whole paycheck.  To spend half of that on health care premiums?  How would we buy food?  How would we pay rent?  How would we pay for the copays and deductibles or afford to take time off work to even GO to the doctor??

So, as is my way, I freaked right the hell out about it.  Had a real, honest to goodness breakdown right here at my dining room table.  The boys staring at me with worried faces, John ignoring my maniacal sobs from the living room (mostly because I was being quite the bitch at him, having never really forgiven him for leaving Netflix and their benefits package,  I also accused him of being a Republican. Obviously our current insurance perdicament is ALL HIS FAULT.  Yeah, I know not at all supportive. It was a BREAKDOWN, I was hyperventilating and everything, perhaps the loss of oxygen to my brain made me so bitchy. I did apologize later though. Not that it makes it ok.).

I'm really not sure what we're going to do, but after packing the kids in the car and going to the park, the fresh air calmed me down.  It seems there might not be anything to do. John and I can't get coverage.  At least not now.  John is actively looking for another job, we can hope that he will get one and it will both pay better and offer health benefits that we can afford (though after a year of looking, the dream of him finding that perfect job is fading).  We still have a couple of weeks left on our current insurance before they drop us.  We're going to try to get John in to see a nephrologist to hopefully renew his rx for another year (not likely) or at least find out what it will cost us for him to see the doctor uninsured (a lot I'm guessing) and I need to get in for my yearly girlie visit.  Then, we'll just stay healthy.  I hope.

Home

We wanted to go to the beach this weekend, and instead of going to our favorite, Arcadia Beach, we thought we'd try something new and go a litte futher south.  I was thinking we could go to Newport, but then decided to just go to Lincoln City (about 25 miles north of Newport). It being a weekend, I was worried that the big beach cities would be packed and maybe we'd have more luck finding a secluded spot to run the dog around in Lincoln City.

The drive out was beautiful, as is any drive anywhere in Oregon it seems.  We drove through vinyards and farmland, low rolling hills, it was green and beautiful, the sky was blue with big puffy clouds. I kept saying to John "I WANT TO MOVE HERE! I want to be a Farmess"  John informed me that there is no such thing as a Farmess and that I'd just be a regular old farmer picking radishes in the fields complaining about back pain and I'd hate it within a week.  Yea, I guess, but driving through it seemed like such a romantic idea, to give up the rat race and live off the land.

 

Driving into Lincoln City Alex and I were amazed by the clouds.  Low Stratus clouds moving at high speed above us.  They were so low and so fast moving at first I was sure they had to be smoke from a fire, but as we got a view of the coastline, we saw that they were indeed clouds.  A big huge cloud just hovering there over the ocean.  It was ominous in a strange way. It wasn't grey or scary, didn't remotely look like there would be a storm, it was just hovering there over the ocean, creeping over the tops of the hills to the north.

Lincoln City is billed as "The kite capital of the world" and you'd think from that I would have realized it would be windy.  I did not.  Windy it was though, and then some.  I kept having to take my glasses off and wipe the lenses because of what can only be described as ocean slime was being blown into my face from every direction.  I could hardly see.  What the beach did have going for it were the tidepools.  A lot of them.  Everywhere.  We saw lots of tidepool critters, we caught fish and sea snails in our buckets (which we returned to their homes before leaving).  After about an hour though, the kids were shivering (a stark contrast to them sweating in Portland just a few hours earlier) and I'd had enough of the wind.  We got back in the car, my hair looking very much like I'd been electrocuted, and decided to go to Devil's Lake about a half mile inland.

No wind, just sun, blue skies, warm water, soft sand and a kick ass playground to boot.

 

All in all I think the kids had a nice day.  John and I enjoyed the scenery, though our minds and hearts were on the loss of Grandma Marie, who's funeral had been that afternoon and we couldn't afford to attend.  Since she passed away last Friday, grief and regret and frustration have threatened to take over.  Being far away from family, it's hard, and though we are still very happy in our decision to move here, the last week or so has brought into bright clear focus what it's cost us to persue a better life away from Utah.  Away from family.

As much as I love Oregon, even I have to admit that part of our hearts will always remain in Utah.  We took our little roadtrip yesterday afternoon and were soothed by the beautiful scenery and the boys playing in the water and the fresh clean air.  This is home now, and we are happy and we love it.  But we need to figure out a way to stay connected to our loved ones back "home" in Utah.

Doing something about it

There are only two things in my life that suck:

1) We're broke

2) I'm fat

It doesn't take a genius to look at that little list and notice that if that's all I have to bitch about, I've got a pretty amazing life.  BOTH of those things are absolutely fixable and BOTH of those things are well within my control to fix.  Not to mention, I know how exactly to fix them.  I've built a career and gotten out of debt before and I can do it again.  Same with my weight.  I've lost it before, I can lose it again.

So why don't I?

Hell if I know. Lazy I guess.

Well, things are gonna be a-changin'.  The fact that we couldn't afford to get John to his grandmother's funeral without seriously compromising the rest of our year financially (so he's not going), the fact that I have ZERO summer clothes that fit because I've gained a good 15 pounds since we moved last year (not to mention the 40 pounds I've been carrying around since I gave birth to Alex)...these things were both pretty harsh wake up calls for me.  I think I'm finally fed up enough to do what it takes to resolve these problems once and for all.

Steps I intend to take in the immediate future:

- Cease and desist ALL credit card spending. Now granted, we've been using them to LIVE on and not for frivolous purchases, but this has to stop before we can even BEGIN to pay them off.

- Phase one of the South Beach Diet. Begins now.

- My apartment complex has a 24 hour gym. USE IT!

- Bring the awesome at work and try to earn my maximum bonus.

- We can eat out ONCE a week. ONE meal out in a SEVEN day week. That's it.  This will help with both goals.