Flashbacks

This actually happened a couple of weeks ago, but it so traumatized me that I haven't taken Alex back to the library since.  Alex asked to go "on da twain!" today, so I thought I'd take him on the light rail (Trax) to the big library in Salt Lake today, and oh the memories come flooding back.

All through the Fall and Winter we've been going to the library twice a week for puppet shows and story time.  Normally Alex behaves quite well. For a two and a half year old anyway.  Sadly, this particular time we went to the library, Mother Goose Story Time had been canceled, so I figured we'd hang out in the children's section for a while, I could read him a couple of books and we could pick out some books to take home.  This worked out for about 15 minutes before he started getting antsy.  I should have just left right then and there.  I shouldn't have insisted that we look through the children's music CD's.  Those extra two minutes apparently were completely unbearable for Alex who began to foam at the mouth and roll around on the ground screaming "I wanna go HOOOOOOME!"  I shouldn't have tried to check out the books and CD's, I should have just left, but I insisted that we go to the self check out and Alex could be "the card guy" (insert my library card into the machine).  When the machine took the card Alex completely lost it.  "MY CARD! MY CARD" he wailed as I tried to use the touch screen to check out our books.  He cried, he screamed, he flailed around like a maniac.  All this in a small quiet library. 

Everyone was giving me dirty looks, with good reason.  I was getting frustrated and angry myself so I leaned down to Alex and hissed at him "If you don't quiet down right now I am going to kick your butt".  I knew this wouldn't work.  It's a pretty stupid thing to say really since a) nothing but leaving the library was going to quiet him down and b) I've never once kicked Alex's butt and it was a completely empty threat.  Alex, however, seemed to take my threat seriously.  Unfortunately, he decided that instead of quieting down, he would get even louder and announce to the entire library exactly what I'd just said to him.  He looked right at me, right into my eyes and screamed "Don't kick my butt Mommy!  YOU CAN'T KICK MY BUTT!  NOOO!  DON'T KICK MY BUTT MOMMY!"  Horrified, I grabbed up Alex and our books and hightailed it out of there as fast as I could and I haven't been back since.