One F&%*ing centemeter. ONE!

My 37 week doctor appointment brought me good news and bad news.  The good news is the baby is still head down and lower in my pelvis, so he's not likely to do any more flipping during his stay in utero.  The bad news is, my cervix is stuck at one centimeter.  One measly centimeter!  All that walking, all that spicy food (and the accompanying heartburn), all that unproductive sex (ok, maybe that one wasn't that bad) for nothing.  Those methods to kick start labor are a crock!  Though, it's not like I didn't know that to begin with.

When my doctor asked me if I would like to be induced early, I was only a little surprised to hear myself say "YES!  OH GOD, PLEASE YES! Can we do it today?"  The doctor told me that no, we couldn't do it today, that he was only willing to fudge the date by a week, so I've now got an induction on the books for June 9th.  I now officially have an exit strategy. 

I don't want to be induced.  I really don't.  But the feeling I get when someone asks me "when are you due?" is almost too much to bear.  I can't even just tell people "June 16th".  No, that date makes me want to cry. I always find myself saying "My official due date is June 16th, but I'm REALLY hoping I'll have him earlier.  Like today."  I never felt this way the first time around.  Sure, my last week was rough, but I never really got the feeling that every single day I spent pregnant was draining me of my very will to live.  (Yea, I know, melodramatic much?).  I don't know why it's so different this time.  Before I'm about to attend a social gathering, I say to myself "Don't whine, don't complain, be happy, happy, happy!"  But I can't seem to control my reaction when anyone asks how I'm doing.  Before I can stop it, a string of "boo hoo, poor me, I'm miserable, GAH will this ever end???" erupts from my mouth.  I hate being this way.

My plan is to keep my chin up and trudge forward to June 8th.  If I wake up that morning and really feel like I can't possibly go on any longer, I'll go ahead with the induction the next day.  Otherwise, I'll cancel and keep on waiting.  His official due date is June 16th, but the ultrasound due date was June 13th.  Alex was born on his due date, so chances are, I'll go into labor naturally sometime during the week of June 9th anyway.   If I wake up on June 16th still pregnant, all bets are off.  Induction, here I come!