Here is how the first hour or so of my morning went. Lets hope it isn't a sign of how the rest of the day will go.
I finish nursing Max for the FIFTH time (He'd recently cut back to waking up only twice a night. Last night FIVE times. Ugh) and he snuggles up next to me and falls asleep. Seconds later I hear a cry of "MOMMY!" from Alex's room. I ignore it at first, sometimes he talks in his sleep. No such luck, he's awake and wants me. I move the baby into his cradle, which wakes him up, and I go get Alex.
Alex's Pull up is soggy, so I change him, not wanting him to leak all over my bed, which gives the baby enough time to fall asleep before I bring Alex to bed with John and me. We snuggle up together when Alex says to me "I want some juice". I tell him that it's too early for juice and to go to sleep. "I JUST WANT SOME JUICE!" He yells, which, of course, wakes both the baby and John up. John offers to get up and get the juice while I tend to the baby. Alex proceeds to cry that he wanted to cuddle. I tell him, we could have been cuddling had he not yelled and woke up the baby.
John comes back with the juice and I hand the baby to him and try to snuggle with Alex, but the baby won't calm down. I have to force a clingy and crying Alex across the bed toward John so I can take the baby and nurse him. Alex cries that he wants baby brother in his own bed, not in Mommy's bed. I'm nursing while laying down so I stretch out my arm and tell Alex he can lay his head on my arm which he does and seems satisfied enough.
Soon the baby is asleep again and I tell Alex that I am going to put Baby Brother in his bed and to be very quiet so he doesn't wake up. "OK" Alex says. I pick the baby up and feel something warm and sticky on his back and on the bed. He'd pooped while I was nursing him and his diaper leaked all over the bed. I have to take him to his room and change his clothes, which wakes him up.
After the baby is cleaned up and changed I swaddle him and give him to John, determined to cuddle with my firstborn this morning, even if it means I have to lay in baby poop to do it. Just as I lay down Max starts fussing, then all out crying. Alex has already snuggled up next to me, as close as he could get, and it breaks my heart that I am going to have to get up again. I can't just let the baby cry because I can't relax and cuddle Alex with Max crying like that, not to mention it's too early for John to have to be awake, he has to work this morning and needs to sleep. I decide to give up. Alex starts crying that he wants Mommy, I take the baby and start feeling a little weepy that I want Alex too but there's nothing I can do about it. I take the baby into the kitchen and he proceeds to spit up what appears to be all of the breast milk he ingested over the course of the night. He's covered in regurgitated breast milk, I'm covered in regurgitated breast milk (and a little poo from the bed). Now it's bath time (for him, not me).
By the time the baby was bathed and changed again, he was hungry, of course. I fed him (though not sure I had anything left in my boobs after his marathon eating frenzy last night) and went to check on Alex. He was asleep. I didn't want to turn on the lights or start rifling through my dresser blind looking for a change of clothes and risk waking John and Alex up and it was starting to get light outside, so I packed the baby into the stroller and went for a walk. Still smelling like the inside of the baby's stomach and diaper.
It's mornings like this that I wonder how people handle more than two kids. I completely let Alex down this morning. Now the baby is asleep in his swing and I could go snuggle with Alex in our baby poop smelling bed, but Alex is asleep too and I know the second I get all comfy with Alex, the baby will wake up, I'll have to get out of bed, possibly waking Alex up and he'll have to watch me leave him for the baby for the third time this morning. I decided to make blueberry pancakes (his new favorite breakfast) instead, so when he gets up, there they are waiting for him with apple juice in his favorite sippy (Yellow Man juice). I'm also planning a trip to the dinosaur museum this afternoon. I need a big win with Alex today. Hopefully pancakes and dinosaurs can make up, just a little bit, for a ruined morning cuddle.
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