Can I just say that I LOVE being a mom of two? I have to admit, I worried (well, to be perfectly honest, I fretted and obsessed and worked myself up into a near anxiety attack) about what it would be like to have two kids. You see, I was raised as an only child. I don't know how a family works with more than one kid. I don't understand the sibling relationship. A family of four is an utter mystery to me.
I worried I wouldn't love the new baby the same as I loved Alex. I worried Alex would feel like he'd been replaced. I worried Alex wouldn't like the new baby. I worried I couldn't handle two kids. I worried we were making a mistake, pushing our luck, by daring to have another baby.
Well, the love thing took care of itself, just as everyone had assured me it would. The second I laid eyes on our newest son, I was crazy, madly in love with him. Not more than I loved Alex, not less than I loved Alex, but that same, intense, all consuming, I'd do anything to make sure he's happy, kind of feeling. It's an amazing thing, this mother love. The way it just effortlessly grows to include a whole other person. Everyone said it would, but during my entire pregnancy, I couldn't imagine how I could love another person the way I loved Alex. Well, I do. I don't know how it works, but I do.
Alex is completely smitten with his baby brother. He likes to touch him (gently), and talk to him and he's become the official diapers and wipes fetcher when baby brother poops. I foresee a wonderful relationship in their future. However, I can tell Alex is starting to feel the pain of not being the one and only anymore. He doesn't get snuggled as often, and when I put him down for his nap, lately he's been saying "Mommy, don't go, lay down with me, I want to cuddle" Which just breaks my heart if baby brother is crying and I can't lay down right then. Of course, if Max happens to be napping I hop into bed next to him and snuggle away. In the evenings Alex will perch on the arm of the recliner and lean on me while I'm feeding or holding the baby. John is doing a great job of giving Alex lots of Daddy attention when he's home from work, but I guess nothing can replace the Mommy-cuddle because I can tell he still craves my full attention. As the baby gets bigger, hopefully he won't need me as much and I can give Alex even more one on one time. Until then, I'm doing my best to make sure he doesn't feel left out.
As for being able to handle two kids, well, right now, it's not too hard. Newborns are easy. This feels strange to say because when Alex was a newborn I thought newborns were the most difficult thing on the planet to deal with. Maybe it's a second child thing, or maybe I was just a wimp the first time around, but little babies, they do four things 1) cry, 2) eat, 3) sleep, 4) eliminate (either by poop or puke) and they do all of these things without making too big of a mess (newborn poop is about 1000 times easier to deal with than toddler turds, same with newborn spitup vs toddler hork) or running off or saying hurtful things or punching me in the nose and kicking my shins. Also, and perhaps the best part, they stay where you put them. If I lay Max down on the sofa and walk away to help Alex do something, Max is still on the sofa when I get back. The only real problem is that away from home, things are a bit more difficult. It's harder to chase after Alex when I've got a baby in my arms. It takes twice as long to pack the kids into the van and take them out. We're getting a good system down though and I'm getting braver and braver about going out into the world with them.
Did we make a mistake by having another child? No. Absolutely, unequivocally NO. Max is an important, irreplaceable member of our family. Already we couldn't imagine life without him. This is our family; me, John, Alex and Max. Our family is complete, whole and happy.
No comments:
Post a Comment