Thanksgiving

Well, right this minute (5:28 AM) I'm thankful for the coffee bean.  I'm thankful that someone thought to roast and grind that little bad boy to make the wonderful elixir of life: Coffee.

The most obvious thing I am thankful for are my children.  The fact that I have them, the fact that they are healthy and happy.  I try to never take them for granted.  They are miracles. I didn't think I'd ever even have Alex, what with infertility and miscarraige before he came along.  And the fates didn't want to let me just HAVE Max, that would be too easy.  We had to almost loose him, but not only did he live through it, he doesn't seem to have any long term affects.  Not a single day, not a single HOUR goes by that I don't look at him and feel absolute JOY that he is in my life.  My children are as important to me as sunlight, water and oxygen. I simply can not live without them.

Of course I wouldn't even have my beautiful sons if I didn't have John.  Our marraige isn't perfect, but it's good.  Great even.  We are crazy in love.  John loves me as I am, no changes necessary.  And he has this amazing ability to make me feel BETTER than I am.  After a long day with the kids, I can be exahusted, wearing sweats and a ratty t-shirt covered in various kid related yuck, and feeling downright disgusting, but with one look, one smile, one kiss, one touch...John is able to make me FEEL like a supermodel.  When I look at myself through John's eyes, I'm beautiful.  This is no small thing, I've never been beautiful, but John doesn't just tell me I'm pretty or sexy, he makes me believe it somehow.  I don't think I need to write much about the more obvious things that are great about John, he's smart, he's sexy, he works hard to provide for our family.  And while he may not be particularly helpful with the messy parts of parenthood, he is a good father who loves his boys. 

I'm thankful for people outside my little family as well:

My mom, who has become an amazing grandmother to my boys, Alex in particular.  Our relationship is complicated, but good.  After thirty years, we've finally begun to really understand each other I think.  Our relationship has never been better.

Mark, who treats me as if I were his own daughter. My boys will never know he's not their biological grandfather.  He has to walk a fine line between loving us completely but acknowledging he isn't Dad.  He makes my mom happy and that is the most important thing of all.

My grandma Margie, who loves me unconditionally, even though we are different.  I am one of many grandchildren, yet she makes me feel special.  Important.  Loved.  She has always been a constant source of love in my life.

My dad, even though he's no longer with me, I am who I am because he was my dad.  I'm glad I had him while I did. I'm glad he was healthy as long as he was, and I'm glad when it got really bad, it didn't last too long.  I'm glad I knew him well enough, and had so many good times with him that I can miss him as much as I do.  No regrets there.  I had a great Dad.

My in laws, who are awesome.  Part of what makes my marraige to John so easy is that I love his family. 

I really could go on and on, but suffice it to say, I have an amazing life and I am thankful for everyone and everything in it.