After months of pestering John about wanting to move into a bigger place, I have finally let it go. I have finally come around to accept John's logic that moving this spring when our lease is up is a bad idea, and that we should stay here for at least another year. I'm not exactly HAPPY about this decision, I'm still feeling cramped in our tiny little place, but I am finally acting like a grown up about it and accepting the fact that now is just not the time to spend more money on a bigger place just because I WANT a bigger place. Now is the time to focus on NEEDS, and no matter how hard I argue my case, I simply can not make a believable arguement that we NEED a bigger place.
It's not that we can't afford a higher rent. We can. John's been regularly earning extra bonuses at work and I've recently gone back to a full time schedule at my job and I'm also doing some freelance writing on the side earning us some extra money. John's arguement is that we finally, after a year and a half, have an opportunitiy to really get a grip on our financial situation and turn it around and start getting out of debt, if we spend this extra money on rent, we will never get out of debt. Not only is his logic annoyingly sound, it is also a bit of a slap upside the head. Like, "Dummy, that's why our old life imploded in the first place, let's not make that same stupid mistake again mmmkay?"
If that weren't enough, there is a bigger, more important reason to stay put. School. This Fall we will have a Kindergartener, and we happen to live within the bounderies of an excellent public school. Now, most schools in the areas I've looked to moving are good, but this school is REALLY good. When I do any kind of research, whether it be test scores or parent reviews, I feel like I must be monumentally selfish (and stupid) to move my kids out of this school's bounderies just so I can have a third bedroom and a garage.
Another of John's arguements against moving is that he doesn't want to lock me into my current job forever. We both really want to get back to having me home more. Right now I am home by lunchtime, but the tradeoff is I have to be to work at 4 in the morning. I'm exahusted. And, as I mentioned I'm also trying to start a freelance writing career, so I'm essentially working 2 jobs PLUS being a mom and I'm getting little to no sleep, causing me to kind of suck at all three jobs. My ultimate goal is to quit my day job and spend that time writing. That way I'll have a more flexible working schedule. If we can pay off our debts that goal may just be attainable.
So, we will stay. And I'll try to stop whining about our tiny little place. I asked John the other day "Doesn't this apartment feel too small to you?" and he responded "No, it feels like home". I'm lucky to have my little apartment. I'm even luckier to have my little family. Where they are is home, whether that is this apartment or a big house or in our minivan down by the river.
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