What the hell was that??

So if you follow me on Facebook, you'll know that Max got sick on Monday.  Nothing too scary, just a low fever.  But the fever got worse on Tuesday (104!) so I took him in to the KidsCare (after hours clinic) and the doctor seemed really concerned that he had this high fever with no other symptoms.  Apparently the more symptoms you have, the less scary a temp is?  Anyhow, they sent him to the hospital next door and had them draw blood (had to poke his arm and wrist), then he came back to the KidsCare where they put a catheder in him (Awful. It was AWFUL watching that while holding my screaming baby down. AWFUL) and took a urine sample.  The thought was that he could have a blood infection or UTI. 

The preliminary test results we got back on Tuesday night suggested he did not have a UTI, but may have a bacterial blood infection (MY GOD MY GOD MY GOD!), so they gave him an antibiotic injection in his leg (he was none too pleased about getting poked YET AGAIN) and we were told to come back in 24 hours.

Well yesterday he seemed fine, no fever, with the exception of waking up from an afternoon nap at 102, which came right down with Motrin.  By the time I took him back to the clinic, he was fine.  The 24 hour culture they'd done on his blood was negative, dr said it was an 80% chance it will stay negative. Phew.  He did the second antibiotic injection, just in case, and I was told to call back tomorrow night (tonight) to check on the 48 hour results of the blood culture. If it is still negative, there's a 90% chance it will stay negative and the doctor won't give him the third shot.

So, on one hand I'm glad it's not sepsis, because MY GOD!  But on the other, I put my child through all kinds of torture and had him shot up with more powerful antibiotics for...what now?  A possible virus.

Anyhow, so last night Max was hard to put to bed, which isn't unusual. This boy doesn't really like going to bed.  I finally got him down around 11, but just as I was going to bed myself he woke up screaming. Screaming and freaking the hell right out.  I picked him up from his crib and he wouldn't look at me, he was just screaming and wiggling around and he didn't want to be held, but he didn't want to be put down and he looked either terrified or in horrible pain, I just couldn't tell. 

After a while of this, maybe 10 min or so, I yelled to John to come out and help because I was freaked out and thinking he was having a seizure or something.  We both tried to comfort him to no avail.  It didn't really seem seizure-ish, other than the fact that he didn't seem to be acknowledging John or I at all.  We started to talk about taking him to the ER (and by "talk" I mean, me saying "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! SHOULD WE GO TO THE ER? MYGODMYGODMYGOD!") 

We agreed we'd take him in, but when I stood up to hand the screaming baby to John so I could get dressed to take him, I froze.  Just froze standing there. The ER was at Alta View. The hospital that almost killed him the day after he was born.  I'd be taking him to the regular ER where they had lots and lots of scary medications they could easily overdose him on.  Suddenly the ER seemd more dangerous to me than keeping him at home. I became convinced that if we took him to the ER, they would surely kill him.  No way. No way was I taking him.  John said he would and went to get dressed.  But when he came back, he was nervous because he knew they'd ask him all kinds of questions about the most recent trips to the doctor and what he'd been injected with and he was sure he wouldn't know how to answer them.  By then I was of no help because I was having some sort of mental/emotional breakdown about my poor baby is either terrified or in pain or seizing and I'm irrationally scared of taking him to the hospital because of something a completely different department of the hospital had done to him over a year ago.

He was breathing fine.  He wasn't bleeding.  He didn't seem to be in any immediate danger.  We decided to wait it out.  And it lasted, oh, maybe 45 min.  It was awful.  But once it was over, he was back to being normal. A little grouchy, but even that's normal for him at night.  I got him to sleep finally close to 2 and I slept in his room with him.  He did fine the rest of the night.

So, what the HELL was that?  Was it related to his virus?  Teething? His ear tubes?  Was it a seizure?  Was it Night Terrors? I tell you, this child is knocking days, weeks, off my life.  I'm excited to be able to say all is well with Max and start writing more about my Awesome Alex, who, sadly, doesn't get nearly the attention he needs or deserves what with his brother hogging the spotlight by being freaking SICK ALL THE TIME!