The day has not started off well. I woke up to the baby crying at 2:30 to nurse as always, but today was different in that this morning I woke up soaked in breast milk. I mean soaked. From my shoulders to my waist, me, my shirt and my bed were covered in breastmilk. It's like my boobs exploded in the night. I had to feed the baby before I could get cleaned up, which I did, then decided I'd better go ahead and pump the rest out lest my boobs explode again, and I'm not sure if our flood insurance coveres breast milk damage.
Around 6:30 Alex started calling for me from his room, I went in to find him sitting in a puddle in his bed. A puddle. Not just a wet spot, but a soggy, urine puddle. This is unusual because a) he's night trained, and b) he wears a pull up to bed anyway. So I took him to the bathroom, got him cleaned up, then stripped his bed and did some fancy talk to get him to let go of his pee soaked Blue Blankie in favor of a dry Diego Blankie.
I took Alex into our bedroom so I could attend to Max who had been crying. John was leaning off my side of the bed trying to comfort the baby. He moved over for me and as I walked in between the cradle and the bed I stepped in something wet and slimy. "WHAT THE HELL?!?!" I yelped when my foot touched the offending slime. "Oh, that was from me" John admitted. "What was it? Spit? A booger??? WHAT WAS THAT??" He never gave me a straight answer, so I may never know.
I sat down to nurse the baby who began grunting and pooping as he always does during his breakfast. Of course today wouldn't have been complete if the poop didn't explode out of his diaper and soak me. Which it did. I changed him, scrubbed my hands and arms and went out to try to have my own breakfast.
John and Alex were having peanut butter on toast and juice at the kitchen counter. I took the baby and my breakfast to the dining room and began to eat when Alex says from the kitchen "Mommy, I'm pooping!" He surely was, I got up, snatched him from his perch on the barstool and whisked him to the potty, but I was too late. He'd had a runny poop and it was everywhere. Making it all the harder to clean him up was the fact that he had a bad eczema breakout on his butt that he'd scratched all to hell yesterday evening, and of course the poop on his scratched up butt was burning like crazy. He was screaming "MY BUTT IS BLEEDING!!!" It took forever to clean him up because he was howling and wiggling and pushing my hands away. After I got him cleaned up, I put medicine on his rear and cuddled him and reassured him that his butt wasn't bleeding and that it would feel better soon. He perked up and asked for chocolate cake. I went ahead gave him some Ho Ho's, because, well, it is Ho Ho's for breakfast kind of a day.
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