Spoilers

Just in case you have better things to do this Spring than read my blog, here is a list of spoilers good through July:

May:

• I'm huge



• I'm sick of being pregnant



• Good God, I'm a whale



• I'm never getting pregnant again.  EVER.



• Did I mention, I'm a freaking zeppelin over here?

June:

• Oooh, goody!  Baby will be born this month!  Hooray!



• Baby... where are you?



• Still pregnant.  COME ON ALREADY!



• If this baby isn't born within the next 24 hours, I'm going to have to perform a self C-section



• BABY! 



• Cute pictures of squishy raisin baby



• More pictures of squishy raisin baby



• More pictures of squishy raisin baby and by the way, my nipples hurt



• HUGE BOOBS!



• HUGE BOOBS AND SORE NIPPLES!



• OH MY GOD, THE NIPPLES!  THE NIPPLES HURT!



• Post video of Alex poking new baby in the eye

July:

• I'm fat and my nipples still hurt!



• I haven't slept in a month



• Alex sticks raisin up baby's nose, post story about ER visit



• I'm fat, I'm on a diet, my nipples STILL hurt, Alex bit one of the baby's toes off and I still haven't gotten more than 2 hours of sleep at a time.  Why did I do this again?



• John begins the countdown to when we can have sex again.  I tell him never.  Never, ever again.  EVER.  I feel bad though, so I buy him a subscription for Juggs Magazine.



• Alex just told the baby he loves him and gave him a kiss.  This might just work out ok after all.

So, as you can see, aside from some potentially adorable newborn baby pictures, I'll mostly be complaining for the next couple of months.  I expect things to pick up around August when I'm getting a bit more sleep and in full swing with my diet and hopefully experiencing some serious ass-shrinkage.