Five things one or the other of us has said recently

1. "I'm going to kill that goddamned cat, I'm not joking"



2. "Is this dried poop on my sleeve?"



3. "How much do you think a good Vegas hooker might cost?"



4. "How many boobs do you think you've had in your mouth? Not including your mother of course."



5. "Did you just fart a corndog?"