Sometimes I think that the amount of love I feel for my children is too much. Like it borders on insane or maybe even obsessive. It's too much and yet every day it grows exponentially, and I think, it can't possibly get bigger, I can't possibly love them more. And yet it grows.
I think this is ok though, even if I am crazy, literally, crazy in love with my boys, because if the worst thing I do to them is love them too much, it won't require too many years of therapy (for them) right?
I feel the same way. Like I need help because I am so obsessed with Cam. It's sad. But you just can't help it!! That's why I don't care to have another baby, I am too in love with Cam. I don't want anything to take away HIS attention.
ReplyDeleteI know what you both mean. One wonders why the heart doesn't explode from too much love. It is my opinion that you don't truly understand the concept of joy until you have a child. And I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to have another baby because you love this guy so much. I keep thinking I want to have another baby...but only if I can have Gus again.
ReplyDeleteHaving experienced the mind-blowing amazingness of Alex, how did you come to the decision to create another little love bomb?
We've sort of thought that when Gus is a year old, it would be a good time to start in on Gus #2...and that time is quickly approaching, but I'm still somewhat on the fence. On the one hand, wouldn't it be great if we could devote all our love, energy, and money to Gus...on the other hand, the thought of never again going through pregnancy, meeting a new little human being that WE MADE, and going through all the incredible stages of babyhood is kind of sad. Also, we'd be depriving Gus of the experience of having a sibling. On the other hand, if we did have another one, could we handle all the extra stress and sleep-deprivation?
This is not a decision to be taken lightly.
also, I don't know how I'd feel if I found out it was a girl...
ReplyDeleteWe waited 2 years before we tried for Max and John had to do a lot of coaxing. I felt complete and happy and didn't really feel like we needed another child. Alex was/is perfect. John's argument was that even though WE wouldn't feel like we'd be missing anything without having another child, ALEX would be missing out on having a sibling. John's siblings are three of the most important people in his life and he felt very strongly that we'd be short changing Alex not giving him a sibling. I was raised as an only child, so I didn't really get it, but I did have a pretty lonely childhood all on my own and I didn't want that for Alex. So, we had Max for Alex and now, of course a Max-less life is unthinkable. I love Max just like I love Alex. Complely, totally, insanely.
ReplyDeleteAnd I did go through a minor panic just before we had our 20 week ultrasound. I did not want a girl. Girls are fine, I love being a girl, other girls are just lovely, but I never wanted a daughter. I wanted sons. It's complicated, and if I'd have had a girl it would have been wonderful, I'm sure, but when I saw Max on the ultrasound and I knew he was a boy, I was relieved and happy! A BROTHER FOR ALEX! YAY!
We are 100% done now. We feel like we're a complete family and have no desire to expand further.