Nerves

Every morning since we came back from Oregon I'd wake up and think "Oh, only 13 more days 'til we move!" "Only 7 more days!" "YAY! We're MOVING! WOOT!"  This morning I woke up and went "Holy shit. We're moving."  I walked through our near empty house and thought. OH GOD! We're LEAVING!

I'm feeling it now.  A lot of it has to do with the fact that I just went to the last mom's night out activity with my mom's group.  My friends said good bye and hugged me.  Today I'm taking Alex to his last playgroup.  We've given away our sofa, our dining room table, packed away the boys toys and the entire kitchen. Tomorrow we're having dinner with John's family for the last time before we move.  The moving truck comes Saturday.

Oh God.

I still feel good about the move. I'm not second guessing our decision at all.  I guess I'm just being caught off guard with the feeling that I'm actually going to miss living here.  I KNOW! I HATE it here, yet today I woke up and realized that there are things, friends, family, our house, that I am really going to miss. A lot.

Will I make friends in Oregon?  Will I find a mom's group as cool as the one I'm in now?  Will I have a best friend again?  Will Alex and Max be able to make friends?  Will my dog get fleas?  Will our friends and family ever come to visit?  What will it be like to visit them in Utah?  Will the house sell?  Will we get jobs?  Will we hate living in an apartment?  Will we miss the sun?  Will we turn into hippies?

I am still very excited about this move. But all of a sudden, I'm also nervous about it.  Maybe that's normal when you're about to make such big changes.  Maybe I should have been nervous this whole time.  I don't know.  What I do know is I need some chocolate.