To my Big Boy

Alex,

I wrote a post to/for your brother the other day for his 10 month birthday, and I've been feeling a little guilty that I didn't write one to you.  I struggle trying to make sure I treat you boys fairly. Make sure you both know how completely I love each of you.  I love you both differently, yet I love you both the same.  It's a very strange feeling.  You may experience this phenomenon in your life someday.  Actually, I hope you do because it's pretty damned awesome.

Alex, you are now three and a half years old, and I'm not sure if this age is harder on you or harder on me.  I understand how confusing things can be. You like candy, why can't you eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner?  If toys shouldn't be broken, why is it so easy to break them?  And why oh why isn't it ALWAYS playgroup day?

You might be a handful, full of energy and mischief, but mostly you're a really wonderful kid who is smart and funny and affectionate.  You are friendly almost to a fault. You've never met a stranger, everyone is your new friend.  In fact, you call them that.  You spy someone new at the playground and tell me "I'm going to go play with that new friend!" and run off to meet them.  Most of the time you're greeted enthusiastically by this new friend, and you gain a playmate for the duration of our time at the park.  Sometimes though, this new friend doesn't want to play, and that can be tough.  Personally though, I think it's their loss, because you are so much fun!

Most of the time though, anyone who meets you loves you instanty.  And how could they not? You are one of the happiest people I've ever known. 

I like to think of you as a pre-school McGuyver.  You can have fun anywhere with anything.  Give you an empty tupperware, a bandaid and an old button and you fashion yourself a toy which you can play with for hours.  In fact, most of the toys you have at home have been taken apart and the pieces used to make completely new toys.  Most of the time I don't understand what the new toys are or what they're supposed to do, but you like them, and I'm just so proud that you are so creative!

You've recently started to show off your good manners.  I've been trying to teach you manners since you were a baby, but suddenly, the last month or so, it's like something clicked, you realized that if you're polite, you get more stuff, and you're now starting to break out the "Please" and "thank you" and "You're welcome" all the time.  You tell people "nice to meet you", you compliment my coloring telling me it's "Bootiful" or "Awesome!" and that I did a great job, you worry about your little brother if he's not in the room with us.  When we have playgroups at our house, you gather up an armful of toys and pass them out to your friends, making sure everyone, even the babies, has something to play with.

You still suck your thumb and have a favorite blankie, and I love to look at you, curled up on the couch in the morning, wrapped in Blue Blankie, thumb docked in your mouth, because it's a glimpse back in time when you were your brother's age and you started doing that.  You don't need your comfort items too often, just when you're upset or tired.  In fact, you may be ready to get rid of them alltogether pretty soon, the other day Blue Blankie went missing and I was franticaly tearing the house apart looking for it.  At one point you took my hand and said "Don't worry Mama, it's around here somewhere".  When we did find it, you said to me "See! Here it is!"  You weren't worried one bit.  I was.  Sometimes I think I need that security blanket more than you do.

Alex, I could go on and on about all the cool things you do and funny things you say, and I try to document my favorite quotes and stories on this website as often as possible in the hopes that someday when you're older I can share them with you.  What I really want to tell you in this post is that I love you.  I tell you this at least a dozen times throughout the day and you tell me you love me right back.  But when I tell you that I love you more than the sun and the moon and the stars in the sky, I want you to know it's not just something I say.  I really do love you that much.  More even. 

There is nothing you could ever do, there is nothing you could ever think, there is nothing you could ever be that would change the fact that I love you more than oxygen.  Three has been a hard age, and there have been many a time out in the last year or so.  Alex there are many, MANY years ahead of us, and we may fight some days.  We may be angry at each other.  But one thing will always remain constant. I love you.  I will ALWAYS love you.  No matter what.