After I put Alex down for his nap, I went in to take a shower like I always do. I'm blind as a bat without my glasses, and I don't wear contacts, which means I can't see anything but blurry blobs of color in the shower. This isn't a problem as we always keep all of the shower supplies in the same place (though occasionally I have trouble with shampoo and conditioner bottles of the same color and shape as well as my current toothbrush which is clear. I'm always fumbling around for the damned thing.). So today, I'm showering as normal when out of the corner of my eye I see a large dark blob sitting about three inches off the shower floor on the tile wall. I bend down a little closer to it to see what it might be. This causes the water from the shower head spray to hit the wall and the blob begins to move! It's moving down the wall onto the shower floor and it's going to attack me! It's obviously some kind of furry black bug, spider or leech that will devour me whole! AAAAAAACCCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!! I scream and run naked and wet out of the shower, through the bathroom and leap the four feet from the bathroom door onto my bed and cover myself with my pillows.
When I catch my breath, I creep quietly back into the bathroom, pick up my glasses off the counter and put them on. I reach behind the toilet and grab my Lysol toilet brush (the kind that sprays the cleaner right out of the brush). I feel better now that I can see and I'm armed. Still wet and naked, holding a toilet brush, I kick open the shower door and before looking in I aim my weapon in the general direction of the creature and douse it with toilet cleanser.
I peek my head into the shower to see a giant wad of hair soaked in blue toilet soap. "JOHN!" I say through clenched teeth.
You see, ever since John and I have been living together, we've had this on going fight about who should clean the hair out of the shower drain. I won't do it. My argument is that it's gross, and I just won't do it. John's argument is that it's mostly my hair, so I should clean it up. I argue back that it only looks like it's just my hair because my hair is longer and darker. I mean, where is his hair going if not down the shower drain? To which he replies that since his hair is so short and thin, it miraculously slides right through my matted clumpy hair wad and goes right down the drain. I say that's bullshit and continue to refuse to clean out the drain trap. I think it is so gross, so disgusting, that I can usually out wait John and he ends up cleaning it. I don't feel bad about this one bit. John however, feels this is cruel and unusual punishment and that it clearly means I don't love him enough. Well, today John got his revenge. He pulled all of the hair out of the drain, wadded it up and stuck it to the wall. Because clearly, that made more sense than just throwing the hair wad away. Sure, it almost gave me a heart attack, but in his mind, I've learned a lesson and will now start cleaning out the shower drain myself. HA! Think again buddy. Think again.
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